bambezzled

I suppose not everything needs to be so complicated.

Life can be so beautiful.

It gets me every time.

It radiates a fullness I’ve yet to comprehend
and I stagger, captivated
by its intensity, affecting me in such a way that I am rendered immobile
satisfied with merely basking in its warmth, taken by its majesty.

I marvel at the revelation
that I could be capable of experiencing such beauty,
that I could be a worthy witness
to something so great and precious.

A thing so precious in its beauty,
a thing so great in its simplicity,
that it effortlessly reaches deep within
and continues to extend
far beyond me
that for a moment

     I
     become
     bigger
     than
     my
     self.

And in that moment, I am wholly open and receptive
to the possibility of greatness.
Greatness in all.
Greatness in me.

It’s beautiful.

And now I see that it could all be so simple.

I have to stop perceiving life as some impenetrable debt I have to pay.

Because even though it is, I won’t. I am foolish. I will falter.
Because even though it is, I can’t. I am nothing. I will fail.

But you can’t burden me anymore
telling me I owe a debt that I can’t pay.

Simply enough, because the debt no longer exists.

How comforting it is to find my balance has been cleared.
To be told that everything is taken care of.
That I am free.
Free to live.

Life is not something I owe.
I have been accounted for.

Life is a gift.
A gift that once given will not
and cannot be taken away.

It was given to me.
And you can’t take that away.

It is a wonderful, glorious gift,
filled with beauty greater than that which I can fully embrace,
given to me, freely and without reservation.

A gift, simply given,
freely and without reservation.

It’s not complicated.

I need only to be big enough
and gracious enough
To give in the way I have been given.

I need only to be big enough
and gracious enough
To love in the way I have been loved.

Fully and deeply.
Freely and without reservation.

Only then would I truly gain
and only then could I really give
the deep and lasting gratitude
that is due to greatness.