Day three on Atkins for me – I should start seeing some results soon. The headaches from yesterday have all dissipated, considerably. I feel pretty damn good today. Feel lighter, too, though the fibro is still acting up. I am nervous about the effect this diet has on my fibromyalgia, and also what the tramadol’s doing in my system. It’s almost like it’s losing effectiveness – the next step in dependence? Or is the pain increasing? It’s so bloody hard to tell. Well, another odd side effect of losing weight, I guess, is that it’ll be like upping my dose as I do.
It seems to me this whole process is all about change – successful, group-linked, group-supported change. What I want to accomplish, in addition to my myriad and sundry little and big things, is to hone my skills as a conductive agent for the process of change. I want to learn how people change – what foils them – how they get around obstacles – what keeps them plugging along during “plateaus” where no results are visible. I want to learn how to easily and efficiently get that successful process rolling in my life, and in others.
My status on this goal: I’ve read/listened to most of Tony Robbins’ tapes on the subject of change and meeting goals. I have some massive ideas in my head.
My next steps: Plug these ideas into a creed for change – a manifesto of change – my change bible. Maybe later I’ll turn it into a book, but this will be my composite creation of all the things that one needs to know in order to change, or help someone else change.
Well, for the fourth time, I’m trying Atkins. I wonder why I’m doing this, really. The last three times, it didn’t “take.” I couldn’t live without my fruits. Why am I trying it again? Because it’s the only method that showed me results. I hope I cna figure out what went wrong the last three times and fix it this time. But my head hurts, and I’m hungry, yet I don’t want anything I can have. I don’t know if this is just pathetic whining inherent in any newly restricted program, and I’ll get used to it if I give it some time. I know I HAVE to lose weight, and I know this works. Is it worth it, though? We’ll see what happens. I’m not giving up yet.
I really want to learn to tango. I’m listening to Astor Piazzolla’s Adios Nonino, and it came over me like a wave. I just really want to dance again, and more than that – I really want to tango.
I have two books in my head. One of them is a nonfiction memoir/polemic about the way I’ve dealt with pain, and the way American medical professionals and society in general deal (or don’t deal) with the subject and those who suffer from chronic pain. The other is a work of fiction (and well, to be honest, I think there are actually seven or eight or forty of those ideas in my head).
Right now, I’m trying to focus on some of these other goals that I think are more crucial to my sense of wellbeing. But I’m still thinking about it, mulling over ideas and which one “speaks” to me more.
It’s been an interesting wild ride lately with the money scene. I haven’t been able to catch my breath, it seems, with all the money in and out, the cash from the auctions in and the fees from the auctions out (eBay is expensive, y’all), the late payments from all the medical bills piling on late last year – sigh.
So, I’m doubly proud of myself that I seem to be improving my grasp on my wallet, and have started scheduling my bills in my planner by due date, by payday, and by date I need to send the payment. I’ve started writing down all my expenses in the planner as well, so I’m getting a good sense of how much I’m getting nickle’d-and-dime’d here (and it’s a lot – let’s just say ATMs are not my friend right now!).
I think these steps are going to improve my credit score by keeping me on time with those payments. Since I’ve also signed up for automatic withdrawal on three of those accounts, that will force me to put the brakes on the personal spending and keep the cash in the account for the upcomign withdrawal, which I can’t stop. No discretion = no variance = prompt payments.
I also got invited to become a member of one of the frontline committees that get events together. How great! I hope this will help me serve in a concrete, visible way and demonstrate my commitment. Bonus: I’ll get to meet my fellow Dems!
What a terrific book! I so recommend it, and its progeny (“The Artist’s Way At Work,” etc.). No matter what your calling in life, your vocation, your dreams – whether you think of yourself as completely right-brained or completely unartistic, or (most likely) something in between (like most of us!), this book will help you lead a much richer, deeper, and more vividly-colorful life. Through my writing, my lawyering, and everything I do, it informs my actions and my confidence. To this day I try to take regular “artist’s dates” and, I believe, I see the world differently because of it. (Yes, for the better!)
Like any program, it can be hard committing to and following through on the necessary time you need to set aside to do the exercises fully. But the reward is so much greater than the effort you put in. I loved the experience, and highly recommend it to all.
I want to lose about 55 – 75 pounds. I put it in a range because (a) I’ve always had a weight problem – don’t really know what I’m capable of at this point in my life, and (b) I’m not married to a number. I’m after optimal health, being able to get off the drugs and safely carry another baby, and buying cute clothes. OK, I’m vain, I admit it. I really want to be able to walk into, say, your average Banana Republic and be able to find, let’s say, 75% of what I’m after in my size. I’m not picky. I’m not irrationally needy or unrealistic. I think these are fine goals, and my purposes are strong. Now, if I can just freaking stay away from the damn ice cream.
Where I stand: about $14,000 in personal/credit card debt, $40k in student loans to pay off, and about $88k remaining on my mortgage (excluded: car payment)
What I’ve done so far: arranged for automatic payments on three of my five credit cards.
Next steps: Pay off the lowest-balance card and catch up on the payments for the personal loan; prepare a matrix of all debts with account information, interest rate, minimum payments, due dates, and balance.
Next steps after that: Prepare a schedule for eliminating those debts on the matrix, with deadlines.
Just got invited to be a delegate to our state convention!
it isn’t as hard as people tell you it is! or rather, it IS as hard as YOU tell yourself it is. this, i swear. i will help anyone who’s willing to contemplate this simple truth: it doesn’t have to be a gutwrenching sacrifice. it can be – well – pretty damned easy.
i’m well on my way, i think, at least locally. what i want to do is increase my standing/visibility within the local party then the state party, then perhaps nationally. first things first. i’m using a political blog for this purpose, but think i need to revamp and reorder, perhaps de-anonymize.
i’m a basic yoga student, studying on my own for about two years, but struggling with fibro and being overweight. along with my other fitness goals (like running a 10k and losing weight) i want to be able to perform this challenging pose solidly, within six months. i’m going to start by attempting it, simply, daily. also, by increasing my pushup count to 100 (i do “against the wall” or “counter” pushups throughout the day). progress report in one week.
i want to be so good at my job that i know “level 1” things automatically, “level 2” things richly, and “level 3” things substantively – only needing to look up and research the specialized items that occasionally cross my desk.