be_beautiful

Well, I found out tea prohibits iron absorption – which means, it’s a very good thing that I’m not drinking it anymore. Since I’ve stopped drinking caffeine, or tea, I’ve started feeling WAY better. I have more energy.

Plus, my teeth are thanking me.

<3

I went to the dentist. I checked off the little eating disorder box while butterflies churned in my stomach. I ignored the magazines in the waiting room, and sat terrified on a beautiful leather chair. I contemplated standing up slowly, and then walking out the door, never to return.

But, I didn’t.

I answered the hygenist with a smile when she called my name. I followed her to the chair. I could feel the neverending, thump thump thump of my heart beating against my ribcage. I prayed I wouldn’t get sick. (Although, the irony at that thought did make me smile).

She asked.

And I replied.

Then we moved on.

She took photos of my teeth, that flashed on a screen above my head. To me, they looked sad and pathetic. She didn’t say anything. She flossed my teeth, cleaned them. And as I looked at her hands, I realized her gloves were bloody. My teeth were bleeding everywhere. And I was ashamed.

The dentist came. She took photos, and stabbed my teeth, and hmmed and haahed.

I have one cavity, and I grind my teeth at night. That’s all. No root canals. No 8 cavities. No “were going to need to cap all of your teeth.” One cavity and a guard to wear at night.

Never have I been more happy in my life. Never have I wanted to thank God for antacids more than then.

I’m never going to be afraid of the dentist again, because I’m never again going to binge/purge.

Never.

<3

For my teeth! I so sick of my stained teeth that I’m taking proactive measures to change them back to pearly whites. I know it’s because of the tea I drink, so…I’m officially cutting back.

This is going to be one hard goal. I love tea!