My self-esteem needs to stop relying on him.
If one week, I convince my self that he is ignoring me, I feel worthless and that I should just kill myself.
And another, he shows that he loves me, I feel on top of the world and think his love is the only thing I live for.
Maybe it’s true.
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I am one of those people who tries with all their might to push someone away, just to see them still be there after I am done.
I am scared that he won’t be there.
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I want it. I want us to be walking along in the pouring down rain, talking and he just suddenly grabs me and kisses me. Hard. Just like that. I love that sort of passion. That fairy-tale-this-will-last-forever kind of thing. :)
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