bethanieboo

I don’t know what this is supposed to look like; I guess it could look like anything. Different people are inspired by different things. Lots of times, people draw inspiration from others in things that we don’t necessarily consider important. What it comes down to is my wanting to be the best person I can. Be the best daughter, friend, listener, wife and mother someday… I don’t need to be the best, I just want to be my best. I want someone to find strength or hope in me or something about my life. I don’t want credit, I don’t need people running around saying how great they think I am. I just want to know that someone’s life is better directly or indirectly because of me.

I’ve been holding a grudge with this woman for at least three years. It was probably even longer, but it’s been the worst since she started dating her still and current boyfriend.
I moved out of her house in September of 2007 and since then, I’ve talked to her about thirty times, seen her about twenty.
The past two months, she’s been calling me every other week or so. Each time, I’d ignore her call.
Last week, she called in the morning and, once again, I didn’t pick up. Ten minutes later, I get a call from my friend Kimmie saying that my mom had text her asking for my messenger name… After apologizing to Kim and talking to her for a little bit, I decided to call my mom. My intentions were not nice and I really had no wish to speak to her. She didn’t know that I had been purposefully avoiding her calls. Neither of my parents are really ones to cry, but I ended up making her cry. It’s an odd thing to make your mom cry because you’re being a terrible person to her. It’s definitely not a fun thing either.
Needless to say, it broke me. In all honesty, I miss her terribly. I miss talking to her, I miss seeing her and hugging her. I haven’t seen her or hugged her since Christmas time. The last thing she did for me was give me this big comforter… I have a lot of things still over at her place and I’ve been trying to bring more and more of them over to where I live now. One of them being a big pink and white stripped comforter that I used to love using when I was younger. When I first asked her if I could have it, she said no because her long time best friend, Darlene, gave it to her… Then as I’m about to pull out of her cul-de-sac, she’s standing in the doorway of the house and my brother comes running down the driveway to give it to me. I use it every night.
I’m not over everything that’s happened. I have yet to see her since our conversation last week… Although, I will this weekend because my brother and cousin are graduating from my old high school.
Hopefully this is just one step closer to letting everything go.

This sounds slightly arrogant, I guess, but that’s not how I mean it. I have a love for photography and it’s what I want to do with my life. If I could just run around taking pictures all day, I’d be a happy woman. I want to take pictures, create images, and have people look at them and just say “Wow, that’s incredible.” I want to inspire people. I want to strike chords in peoples’ hearts that make them identify with the picture and what I was looking at.

I especially want people to see the beauty in life that, on a day to day basis, we take for granted. I want people to appreciate the rocks in the riverbed, the grass on the ground or even the clouds in the sky. I want people to see the world how I see it; a blessing.