nbee

• become nearly fluent in spanish.
• began (re)learning italian and japanese.
• long, healthy hair (gotten over pulling, hopefully).
• get rid of acne totally.
• fix smile and jawline.
• finish almost all of my bachelor’s degree and look into grad schools.
• joined a sorority.
• joined the model un at my school.
• started saving up for my own flat/ apartment.
• gotten into better shape and controlled my binge eating.
• had at least one successful, long-term relationship.
• a steady job or at least job prospect. god bless the child that’s got his own!

I’ve noticed that most people’s (myself included) problems stem from the fact that they’re lonely, feeling misunderstood, and lacking in the friends department. I think that this is because we all just go places and think that the battle is over. We tend to think that we fought as best as we could and now that we haven’t made any new friends, we should go home and sulk because we tried our best. But get this: going places and leaving your comfort zone is only half the battle. Once you get there, if you’re just hanging around waiting to make friends, I can guarantee that situation won’t work out in your favor. You have to actively participate in the process instead of just sitting there, looking friendly. Everyone wants friends. You have to be a friend to make a friend. All anyone ultimately wants in life is to belong and feel like they’re a part of something. A quote that always gives me perspective is, “the people who get what they want are the ones who show up to get it”. Basically, you have to show up for your own life in order to get what you want out of it. Things and people aren’t going to just come for you; that’s naive unrealistic thinking. If everyone thought that way, no one would leave their houses nor make any real connections with others because they’d be at home just waiting for good things to come their way! Think of all the opportunities you’ve missed by being afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of those who are different from you, afraid of those with differences that can judge you based on your differences, afraid of those you feel inferior to, afraid of those you think may feel inferior to you perhaps. If we all stopped being afraid and actually started going places and then consciously making real connections with people once we get there, maybe we’d all be a closer community who helps each other when we’re down instead of this secluded, insecure, cold, inconsiderate, selfish, and self-gratifying species that we’ve gradually evolved into since Earth began. The next time you’re in a social situation that doesn’t go the way you planned, re-examine how that honestly played out: Did you really try to make friends or did you sit back, barely making a comment or two, hoping people would just flock to you instead of making the actual effort to befriend them first? That was my downfall in terms of the social scene. I thought that all I had to do was show up and eventually someone would talk to me and then we’d laugh and hit it off and – BAM – friend… Well, needless to say, I was wrong. Like I said before, you don’t make friends by just looking friendly. Doesn’t work like that. Actively pursuing friendships, even if it leads to rejection more often than not, is the only way to become more sociable. Make the first move. Talk to somebody. Carry on conversations and don’t just engage in the occasional exchanges of random phrases and then call it a day. Start a social revolution! Give yourself permission to be vulnerable. Be braver than what you’re allowing yourself to be right now. Push passed your limits and break through the bullshit that’s been holding you back. It’s not called acquiring friends, which is what I think most people see the process as. It’s called making friends because it involves actual effort in order for your efforts to potentially result in a great, meaningful friendship. There’ll be absolutely no reward without sharing something from within yourself first. It may suck and you may be scared and apprehensive at first attempt, but hey… no pain, no gain. However you want to put it, get out of your comfort zone, put forth the honest-to-God effort, and make it happen! Get out there and make friends, everyone! Best of luck. I’m right there with you….

start running around a university track.