I'm doing 30 things
I have both “love myself” and “reinvent myself” on my list, is that a paradox? Perhaps it’s just me daydreaming that I could be someone else. Yet, I’d like to see both as linked to one another, making small positive changes in my life which would lead me to think differently about myself.
blackjuniper's Life List
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1. love myself
1 entry5,044 people -
2. exercise more
1 entry5,561 people -
3. try a raw food diet
1 entry49 people -
4. reinvent myself
1 entry410 people -
5. Quit Smoking
1 entry . 3 cheers9,258 people -
6. learn to drive
6,744 people -
7. take painting lessons
15 people -
8. learn more about art history
1 cheer54 people -
9. focus on now
2 people -
10. start blogging again
34 people -
11. read 12 dystopian novels
1 person -
12. write a novel
11,086 people -
13. learn PHP
1,509 people -
14. learn ruby on rails
1,322 people -
15. design a wordpress theme
3 people -
16. write an ebook
84 people -
17. learn to ride a motorbike
362 people -
18. Refresh my Mandarin
1 person -
19. Learn Spanish
17,681 people -
20. Travel to South America
437 people -
21. Curate an exhibition
8 people -
22. live honestly
43 people -
23. sell old clothing
1 person -
24. start a travel website
3 people -
25. be fluent in 3 languages
39 people -
26. have no fear
115 people -
27. Own my own business
1,677 people -
28. Take more photos
3,730 people -
29. set up a pop up shop
1 person -
30. do a counselling course
3 people
Recent entries
All my life I’ve been the underachiever, taking on unchallenging jobs and never fulfilling any goals. Sometimes it feels like I’m looking at my life in a constant dream-like state, that the physical person doesn’t gel with the mind. Often I’ve been told by others that I’m smart and intelligent, and that I can do anything I want, but I don’t know where to begin. I recently quit my job ‘cos I found it boring and awful, but now I just sit at home and wonder where my day goes. I’ve retreated from my friends and I hate going out to meet people.
Often it feels like I’m living a lie and am too used to avoiding and running away from my problems. When you walk by the self-help section of the bookstore and think that half of the titles are screaming out how wrong you are, you know you have major self-esteem issues.
I’ve thought of going to a therapist, but I’m not sure if it’ll be of any help.
Is there a formula to loving yourself? I don’t want to love myself based on conditions, e.g. when I look good, when I have many friends, when I earn big bucks. I just want to respect myself and love me for me. I seriously don’t know where to begin.
It’s going to be hard to go on a raw food diet when I’m living with a lean mean meat-eating machine that is the boyfriend, so I’m going to start by drinking fresh smoothies every day which I love.
