third day fell off the wagon…. I’ve done this 4 times now. It’s feels like everybody is trying to annoy me to no end. So I feel like I can’t take the stress anymore and go back to smoking. It’s a lame excuse I know that! Yet my willpower is lost in my thoughts. I need to relearn how to held the stress people cause me without smoking a cigarette. I lie to myself about how the cigarette will make the situations better. So today is day one again. I already feel annoyed as my ex called me in the middle of night to attack my self worth. But life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies.
blindhatred20's Life List
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1. Quit Smoking
4 entries . 2 cheers9,261 people -
2. get in shape
10,218 people -
3. Learn to cook
9,753 people -
4. Learn Spanish
17,681 people -
5. run 3 miles in under 30 minutes
9 people -
6. expand my circle of friends
99 people -
7. To live instead of exist
1 cheer11,670 people -
8. learn how to drive stick-shift
4,526 people -
9. Move out of my parents house into a place of my own
179 people -
10. travel the world
20,747 people -
11. try sushi
234 people -
12. be independent
961 people -
13. find my soulmate
3,258 people -
14. write and publish a novel
267 people -
15. accomplish my goals
99 people -
16. wear my contact lenses less
1 entry3 people -
17. be envied
1 entry . 1 cheer53 people -
18. go to japan
3,738 people -
19. get over my ex
1,064 people -
20. Change my identity
159 people -
21. be happy being single
1 cheer79 people -
22. forgive and forget
573 people -
23. Stay single for a year
19 people -
24. Learn to rock climb
467 people -
25. learn to dance
7,097 people -
26. find happiness
595 people -
27. go back to college
955 people -
28. to be proposed to without pressure
1 person -
29. Own a 98 toyota supra twin tubro
1 person -
30. Take more pictures
15,355 people -
31. Stop picking my lips
2 entries . 1 cheer224 people -
32. stop procrastinating
30,012 people -
33. learn martial arts
877 people -
34. redecorate my room
462 people -
35. be more productive
814 people
I know that this isn’t the best goal to have but still. A long ago guy that at one time I had a crush on called me up with the news that he had a baby (mind you I don’t want to have kids till i’m older being 21 is way too young) but anyways he envys me cause I’m kid free and the fact that I can just get up and leave any place or person as I please without having to answer to anybody. Recently I moved out of that boring state to Las Vegas and having a great time here. It feels good to be envied.
Well I had a million and one errands to run today…. so that kept me busy. Still craving a smoke. But haven’t done it yet. But it’s almost bedtime so then it’s on to day 3. Got work tomorrow and my pink eye is still noticeable…. Not good. I’m a little moody now too. All in all though when I quit for just one month I’ll be happy to have beat this beast.
