I am still trying to find out what my terms are. Most of the time I feel like a puppet having my strings pulled and yanked by many hands.
I finished Nurse’s Aide training. Big whoop. It became obvious that the instructor was going to pass everyone anyway. I am still not sure whether I can be a N.A. for long either. The work is so unpleasant. Why did I choose to go in it in the first place you may ask? Wanting to help people and job security seemed liked a good enough reason at the onset.
Jun 10, 11:46AM PDT | 0 comments
To me this goal is similar to controlling my own happiness. Right now I am just trying to be patient and believe. I have to believe that things will get better.
With illnesses, death, heartbreak, disappointment, and loss I have found myself praying more and trying to believe that there is a reason, a bigger plan that I am not aware of, for all of this to happen. I have found myself becoming more spiritual, if not religious, and philosophical about things. Not that I am immune to falling into my periods of “depths of despair and momentary lapses of hysteria” but I am trying to be more positive. No easy feat.
Feb 16, 03:29PM PST | 2 cheers | 0 comments
Today was not a good day. I just could not get myself to go out and face the world. I attempted to write but, it was like resuscitating a dead limb, painful since I haven’t done it in a long time. I called a friend which cheered me only for the time I was on the phone. I slept.
Who knew that joblessness would be so depressing? Well, not joblessness just a lack of income is frightening.
I have never given up looking for a job even when I had hours at my last job. I am just forever widening my horizons trying anything just about anywhere. It has been awhile since I have experienced a bitter winter but, here I am applying to jobs in Canada!
I am not saying that finding a job would be an end to all my ills/complaints just my pocketbook.
Jan 22, 08:05PM PST | 1 cheer | 0 comments
I'm doing 19 things
