My mother had fallen while retrieving the garbage can. At least that is what I think happened, since she can’t recall and I wasn’t around when it happened. Needless to say, we spent several hours at the clinic but thankfully, there weren’t any broken bones. Now my sister says that I should just “bide my time” (until she dies) and stay with her so I can keep an eye on her completely ignoring any wants/desires/dreams that I may have. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. I have already taken care of her for 10+ years everyone figures why not 10+ more? No one seems to care what I want.
blurred's Life List
1. Actualize my potential
2. live my life on my own terms, not trying to live up to the expectations of others
3. work because I like to, not because I have to
4. Beat my depression
5. stand up for myself
6. Be happy without being in love.
7. appreciate what I have
8. own a house
9. fall in love again, and, for a change, actually be loved back, while I'm at that
10. publish my poetry
11. Spend less time fooling around on the net and more time actually working
13. exercise regularly
14. Realize that some people are never going to be the people you thought they might be and be ok with that
15. Post random thoughts, observations, and events of the day...
16. stop being afraid
17. control my own happiness
18. Have a totally different life by this time next year
19. feel beautiful
20. figure out who I am
21. Figure out what I want
I should put this at the top of my list. I am so tired of living my life for everyone else. Give up your chance of ever doing what you want so you can take care of your mother. Well…no wonder I’m so unhappy. I have to stop being afraid and take the plunge. Get off this rock and live my life. Hard to do when I’ve been a slave to everyone else and its the only thing I know how to do…but I have to try.
Passed the PN boards. Actually, kind of anti-climactic. Feeling sorry for myself that I am NOT with my classmates continuing for my RN. Doubly feeling sorry for myself when I see my 2nd cousin (much younger than I) already have his MD. Oh well…it seems that I can’t get away from myself. Where ever you go there you are mentality. I won’t allow myself to fall deeply into depression but instead will just wallow in self pity! haha