bonniebella

1. giving a gift that is unexpected in timing or in the thoughtfulness of it

2. Hearing someone say I have potential/ I can pursue my dreams

3. toilet humour jokes by Sonia- everyone needs a friend that can crack you up like she does

4. getting through a joke perfectly- timing, topic, good vibes, especially if I don’t giggle the whole way through

5. having a laugh with people who share my sense of humour- always adding on more eccentricities to the original joke… getting totally out of control and into zones of weirdness

6. Discovering a movie character that when the film is over you are resolved to be more like them- it’s a moment where you feel your life has a new path… and then reality reminds you how good the film is to do that- oops

OH WOW…
so i was writing that last entry and then I completed and started web surfing for my list… then onto the radio came the Ella Fitzgerald song (name unknown) that says “me myself and I are so in love with you”.

FANTASTIC

I am well on my way!!!

Oh crap I can’t even remember how the word “needy” got stuck in my head… Anyway I am having issues with my flatmate, basically she has “disappointed” me again, and all I want to do is text, call, email others and cry about how I have no friends.

Obviously I am not a very independent person if
a) I can’t handle my problems alone
b) I define myself and my emotional stability by what other people do to me.

Which is why I discovered the word “needy”... aka I never would have called myself needy before. Its at a point where I have no emotional resiliency over even strangers ‘disappointing’ me and have noticed I can’t enter relationships because i am afraid of that ‘disappointment’.

So me and my best friend and I are going to write a list of how I will become my new best fried…

PS I love writing lists… sweetly neurotic behaviour that I can’t give up. HA!