bpositiv

I went through lot of agony to get over my friend moving on with her life. As we parted ways on a bitter note, I was left feeling miserable and her leaving our place and moving out felt like a close friend abandoning me. I was unable to absorb how come she is happy and I’m not. I wasted months over it.
Recently when we had to communicate regarding some bills, her rude and defensive attitude put me off. It finally broke that dam I was holding in my heart. I no longer think it was only my responsibility to make a relationship work. Secondly, her complete lack of any regard for our good moments in the past made me realise I am giving her undue importance by feeling so awful about the split. It is tough to accept but am trying to come to terms that sometimes things are not meant to be and not everybody would be emotionally invested in a relationship. I am going to move on and not let her make me sad any more.

God be with all of us.

So am waking up at 7:30 am everyday. Of course the fact that my maid comes in at that time helps :) but the same used to happen earlier too. Now I have started to wake up early and spend some time in the kitchen to make breakfast and eat healthier meals. I still cannot control my weird urge to stay up late at night especially weekend nights. But one step at a time. Am glad I’m waking up by reasonable hour with reasonably less grump factor :)

remember everytime someone points a camera at you and you wish you could just dissolve or evaporate. well, that is simply because somewhere, you feel dissatisfied with the way you look. i am not referring to stupid notions girls have about their appearances. but i am talking about issues which have been hanging over your head for years. like you being overweight. by 15 kgs.

everytime i look at my pictures, i cringe. i hate my pictures.

so then. in the life of such a person, imagine the biggest vacation coming up. spain! yay. i know i am super excited to be going to spain this year. but i also know that if i am not in good shape, i would end up feeling really shitty about myself and each pic taken would be so gut wrenching.

i am dreading such a situation.

hence, the only solution for me is to take my health seriously for the next 90 days and by the time i go to spain, it should be the start of a new chapter in my life.

i really want to take my health seriously. i am sick of insulting my own commitments and targets. god help me in my endeavour.

it is not about vanity but about long term health and self-respect that i can do what i set out my eyes at.