breakthru

Yes! It’s such a relief that its all over. Now I feel I can breathe again.

Yes! Go Me!

and I was victorious! But the real victory will be years from now when he is 100 times uglier and im 100 times hotter, and he is all miserable and I’m on top of the world. I believe that will happen naturally itself

I am telling that guy that I don’t take his shit, and he is going down!

and graduation is june 1st. Yes!

I have three days to get it all cleaned up. Also, a couple of days ago my ex told me he wants me back. I would take him back, but I know that if I did it would never be the same, so I guess I’ll have to just politely reject him. Why me?

My crazy ex says he’s going to beat this guy up. I’m not sure if he’s really for real though. I would like to see this, but if this goes down, it will bring up some old dirt with me and this guy. But they can gossip all they want, I’ll be gone in seven days!

lol, doesn’t she know it’s friday and I’m a senior? I think that’s a good excuse to be lazy

There is never a time to say
cos it seems to me we’ve lost our way
so we carry on, down the road
and we live our lives haunted by
all the things we say and do
keep on missing, when I’m alone with you

No there’s never a time to change
you don’t get a chance to re-arrange
it’s along long way to go
just to find out something, we both know
cant’ you see what’s going on
it’s so sad, that a love so strong, has gon

All I know is what is true
All I ask is for you to
just look around and see

You live your life locked in a dream

Where nothing is real, and not what it seems
We can’t go on another day
just being afraid to say

It’s a long long way to fall
When we both thought we had it all
Well you know it’s the time to say
cos we’re all played out, we’ve lost our way
Oh, I’d hooped that you would
be oh so understanding
and by now you’d see, but oh no
so sad, so sad, that’s the way that it goes
i know, I’m gonna tell you right now

IN THE GLOW OF THE NIGHT

The grey of evening fills the room,
No need to look outside,
To see or feel the rain.
I reach across to touch her,
But I know that she’s not there.
Rain keeps running down the window pane.
Time is running out for me.

Can’t you see what you are doing to me?
Can’t you see what you have done?
As I try to pass another long and sleepless night,
A hundred crazy voices call my name,
As I try to pass them by,
I almost can believe that she is here,
In the glow of the night.

Do you know what you have done?
Do you know what you’ve begun?
Do you see we shall never be together again?
All of my life.

Lonely people, empty rooms,
Pointless violence, silent tombs.
Could it be that we shall be together again?

Sheets of double glazing help to keep outside the night,
Only foreign city sirens can cut through,
Nylon sheets and blankets help to minimize the cold.
But they can’t keep out the chilling sounds.
Will the nightmare soon give way to dreaming
That she is here with me?
In the glow of the night.

Do you know what you have done?
Do you know what you’ve begun?
Do you see we shall never be together again?
Lonely people, empty rooms,
Pointless violence, silent tombs.
Could it be that we shall be together again?

THE LAST DOMINO

In silence and darkness
We held each other near that night
We prayed it would last forever.

Blood on the windows
Millions of ordinary people are there
They gaze at the scenery
They act as if it is perfectly clear
Take a look at the mountains
Take a look at the beautiful river of blood.

The liquid surrounds me
I fight to rise from this river of hell
I stare round about me
Children are swimming and playing with boats
Their features are changing
Their bodies dissolve and I am alone.

Now see what you’ve gone and done.

Now you never did see such a terrible thing
As was seen last night on T.V.
Maybe if we’re lucky, they will show it again
Such a terrible thing to see
There’s nothing you can do when you’re the next in line
You’ve got to go domino.

Now I’m one with the living and I’m feeling just fine
I know what I must do
Play the game of happiness and never let on
That it only lives on in a song
There’s nothing you can do when you’re the next in line
You’ve got to go domino.

Do you know what you have done?
Do you know what you’ve begun?

In silence and darkness
Hold each other near tonight
For will it last forever?

There’s nothing you can do when you’re the next in line
You’ve got to go domino.

No cloud, a sleepy calm,
Sunbaked earth that’s cooled by gentle breeze,
And trees with rustling leaves,
Only endless days without a care,
Nothing must be done.

Silent as a day can be,
Far-off sounds of others on their chosen run
As they do all those things they feel give life some meaning,
Even if they’re dull.

Time to stop this dreaming, must rejoin the real world
As revealed by orange lights and a smokey atmosphere.
The trees and I are shaken by the same winds but whereas
The trees will lose their withered leaves,
I just can’t seem to let them loose.
And they can’t refresh me those hot winds of the south.
Feel like an alien, a stranger in an alien place.

Now the light is fading fast,
Chances slip away, a time will come to pass
When there’ll be none,
Then addicted to a perfumed poison,
Betrayed by its aftertaste,
We shall lose the wonder and find nothing in return.
Many are the substitutes but they’re powerless on their own.

Beware the fisherman who’s casting out his line
Into a dried up river bed,
But don’t try to tell him ‘cos he won’t believe you.
Throw some bread to the ducks instead, it’s easier that way.
Feel like an alien, a stranger in an alien place.

I am the one who guided you this far,
All you know and all you feel.
Nobody must know my name
For nobody would understand,
And you kill what you fear.

I call you for I must leave,
You’re on your own until the end.
There was a choice but now it’s gone,
I said you wouldn’t understand,
Take what’s yours and be damned.

I held the book so tightly in my hands, saw your picture, heard you call my name
There was something strange, I could not look away
I wanted to be there, I wanted to go

You gave me no warning
You gave no reason
But I was with you
Right by your side
Give me the strength, and I will help you
They can try their hardest, they don’t frighten me

It is written in the book

It is hotter than I’ve known before, but I feel so cold, and I don’t know why
But if the fire within your heart can beat the storm
Then I really believe, you could make it right

The time has come now
We must show our feelings
But I’m looking right through you
And your heart is empty

Whatever happened to you it’s too late to change now
There’s nowhere you can run to, no place to hide
Oh you let me down!

...but wait a minute, I don’t understand
It’s getting stronger, grab my hand
Don’t wanna leave you, don’t wanna go
But I’m losing all control
Can’t you see me slipping away?
I can only stay if you’ve the will to keep me here

It is written in the book

Oh so many times since I’ve read those words
Just waiting to see you, can you see me?

Like the dust that settles all around me,
I must find a new home.
The ways and holes that used to give me shelter,
Are all as one to me now.
But I, I would search everywhere
Just to hear your call,
And walk upon stranger roads than this one
In a world I used to know before.
I miss you more.

Than the sun reflecting off my pillow,
Bringing the warmth of new life.
And the sounds that echoes all around me,
I caught a glimpse of in the night.
But now, now I’ve lost everything,
I give to you my soul.
The meaning of all that I believed before
Escapes me in this world of none, no thing, no one.

And I would search everywhere
Just to hear your call,
And walk upon stranger roads than this one
In a world I used to know before.
For now I’ve lost everything,
I give to you my soul.
The meaning of all that I believed before
Escapes me in this world of none,
I miss you more.

Like the dust that settles all around me,
I must find a new home.
The ways and holes that used to give me shelter,
Are all as one to me now.
But I, I would search everywhere
Just to hear your call,
And walk upon stranger roads than this one
In a world I used to know before.
I miss you more.

Than the sun reflecting off my pillow,
Bringing the warmth of new life.
And the sounds that echoes all around me,
I caught a glimpse of in the night.
But now, now I’ve lost everything,
I give to you my soul.
The meaning of all that I believed before
Escapes me in this world of none, no thing, no one.

And I would search everywhere
Just to hear your call,
And walk upon stranger roads than this one
In a world I used to know before.
For now I’ve lost everything,
I give to you my soul.
The meaning of all that I believed before
Escapes me in this world of none,
I miss you more.

Go far enough and you will reach,
A place where the sea runs underneath.
And we’ll see our shadow, high in the sky,
Drying away in the night.

I’ve sailed the world for seven years,
And left all I love behind in tears.
Won’t you come here, wherever you are,
I’ve been alone long enough.

You, you have your own special way,
Of holding my hand keep it way ‘bove the water,
Don’t ever let go—Oh no, no, no.

You, you have your own special way,
Of turning the world so it’s facing
The way, that I’m going, Don’t ever
Don’t ever stop.

Whose seen the wind not you or I,
But when the ship moves she’s passing by.
Between you and me I really don’t think,
She knows where she’s going at all.

You, you have your own special way,
Of carrying me twice round the world
Never closer to home than the day,
The day I started.

You, you have your own special way,
Hold onto my hand keep it way ‘bove the water,
Don’t ever let go—no, no, no.

What mean the dreams night after night.
The man in the moons’ a blinding light.
Won’t you come out whoever you are,
You’ve followed me quiet long enough.

You, you have your own special way,
Of holding my hand, Don’t ever let go.
You, you have your own special way,
Of turning the world so it’s facing
The way that I’m going, Don’t ever,
Don’t ever leave me.

At the top of the stairs, their’s hundreds of people,
running around to all the doors.
They try to find themselves an audience;
their deductions need applause.

The rich man stands in front of me,
The poor man behind my back.
They believe they can control the game,
but the juggler holds another pack.

I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.
I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.

I’d rather trust a countryman than a townman,
You can judge by his eyes, take a look if you can,
He’ll smile through his guard,
Survival trains hard.
I’d rather trust a man who works with his hands,
He looks at you once, you know he understands,
Don’t need any shield,
When you’re out in the field.

But down here,
I’m so alone with my fear,
With everything that I hear.
And every single door, that I’ve walked through
Brings me back here again,
I’ve got to find my own way.

The priest and the magician,
Singing all the chants that they have ever heard;
They’re all calling out my name,
Even academics, searching printed word.

My father to the left of me,
My mother to the right,
Like everyone else they’er pointing
But nowhere feels quite right.

And I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.
I need someone to believe in, someone to trust.

I’d rather trust a man who doesn’t shout what he’s found,
There’s no need to sell if you’re homeward bound.
If I chose a side,
He won’t take me for a ride.

Back inside
This chamber of so many doors;
I’ve nowhere to hide.
I’d give you all of my dreams, if you’d help me,
Find a door
That doesn’t lead me back again
-take me away.

There is lambswool under my naked feet.
The wool is soft and warm,
-gives off some kind of heat.
A salamander scurries into flame to be destroyed.
Imaginary creatures are trapped in birth on celluloid.
The fleas cling to the golden fleece,
Hoping they’ll find peace.
Each thought and gesture are caught in celluloid.
There’s no hiding in my memory.
There’s no room to void.

The crawlers cover the floor in the red ochre corridor.
For my second sight of people, they’ve more lifeblood than before.
They’re moving. They’re moving in time to a heavy wooden door,
Where the needle’s eye is winking, closing in on the poor.
The carpet crawlers heed their callers:
“We’ve got to get in to get out
We’ve got to get in to get out.”

There’s only one direction in the faces that I see;
It’s upward to the ceiling, where the chambers said to be.
Like the forest fight for sunlight, that takes root in every tree.
They are pulled up by the magnet, believing that they’re free.
The carpet crawlers heed their callers:
“We’ve got to get in to get out
We’ve got to get in to get out.”

Mild mannered supermen are held in kryptonite,
And the wise and foolish virgins giggle with their bodies glowing bright.
Through a door a harvest feast is lit by candlight;
It’s the bottom of a staircase that spirals out of sight.
The carpet crawlers heed their callers:
“We’ve got to get in to get out
We’ve got to get in to get out.”

The porcelain mannikin with shattered skin fears attack.
The eager pack lift up their pitchers- the carry all they lack.
The liquid has congealed, which has seeped out through the crack,
And the tickler takes his stickleback.
The carpet crawlers heed their callers:
“We’ve got to get in to get out
We’ve got to get in to get out.”

“The last great adventure left to mankind”
-Screams a drooping lady
offering her dreamdolls at less than extortionate prices,
and as the notes and coins are taken out
I’m taken in, to the factory floor.

For the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-All ready to use
the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-just need a fuse.

Got people stocked in every shade,
Must be doing well with trade.
Stamped, addressed, in odd fatality.
That evens out their personality.
With profit potential marked by a sign,
I can recognise some of the production line,
No bite at all in labour bondage,
Just wrinkled wrappers or human bandage.

The Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-All ready to use
It’s the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-just need a fuse.

The hall runs like clockwork
Their hands mark out the time,
Empty in their fullness
Like a frozen pantomime.
Everyone’s a sales representative
Wearing slogans in their shrine.
Dishing out failsafe superlative,
Brothere John is No. 9.

For the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-All ready to use
It’s the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-just need a fuse.

The decor on the ceiling
has planned out their future day
I see no sign of free will,
so I guess I’ll have to pay,
pay my way,
for the Grand Parade.
for the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-All ready to use
the Grand Parade of Lifeless Packaging
-just need a fuse.

Echoes of the Broadway Everglades,
With her mythical madonnas still walking in their shades:
Lenny Bruce, declares a truce and plays his other hand.
Marshall McLuhan, casual viewin’, head buried in the sand.
Sirens on the rooftops wailing, but there’s no ship sailing.
Groucho, with his movies trailing, stands alone with his punchline failing.
Klu Klux Klan serve hot soul food and the band plays ‘In the Mood’
The cheerleader waves her cyanide wand, there’s a smell of
peach blossom and bitter almonde.
Caryl Chessman sniffs the air and leads the parade, he know in a scent,
you can bottle all you made.
There’s Howard Hughes in blue suede shoes, smiling at the majorettes
smoking Winston Cigarettes.
And as the song and dance begins, the children play at home
with needles; needles and pins.