1. Getting something else unpleasant done. Let it be over now.
2. I was so impressed by someone that I wanted to hug them.
3. I have been officially crowned ‘the person least likely to deface the office notice board with silly drawings’. As the only person not suspected of the ‘crime’ by anybody, I did feel slightly guilty laughing at their unreasonably high opinion of me. It was me of course. But you knew that, didn’t you :-D
1. I played football last night for the first time in ages and aside from the fact I’m no longer the swaggering genius that I (ahem) once was, it was still pretty good. Sore today.
2. I’m grateful that a very ace colleague took time away from her very busy schedule to help me out. A lot.
3. I never expected this moment to arrive, but it is finally the weekend. It really is you know.
This was supposed to be a whimsical goal where I could stick utterly irrational dislikes and over-react wildly to them for my own amusement. And so far I have, but I think I’m going to get something real off my chest this time.
I’ve been a bit quiet at times recently and I’ve not really been able to work out what’s up, but I know now. After an attritional 18 months at work I’ve barely received a word of thanks from my boss. I can’t be bothered with a detailed explanation, but I’m just exhausted from all that with barely a word of praise or encouragement (if praise isn’t deserved). At the risk of sounding like a child who wants a treat for eating all his greens, I need something to insulate me against all the negative stuff that I inevitably hear as part of my role.
I’m sure we’ve all done something cool that we couldn’t wait to tell someone, only to find them eager to point out how you could have done it better – well I’m f*cking bored with it. Give me constructive feedback after you’ve told me how f@cking awesome I am. I give myself such a hard time if I don’t feel I’m doing as well as I should and if my manager isn’t telling me I’m doing a good job, then I assume I’m not. He’s actually a genuinely good person, my manager, but he admits he’s not very good at ‘people’ stuff (respect to him for being honest). I know it’s only words and I shouldn’t place such importance on it but it’s really ground me down. I just feel a bit unsure of myself now, whereas I’ve not really been like that before. Am I doing a good job or not!?
I know there’s worse things (someone I’ve read on here seems to be going through something 100-times worse at their workplace) and certain things have really improved recently. But if not receiving a metaphorical lollipop for my efforts gets to me this much, perhaps I need a job more suited to my delicate sensibilities. One where I don’t have to keep a team of people happy at the same time as keeping to budgets and delivering results etc. I actually do like my job and I’ve no idea what else I could do though. I just need to do something positive.
Wow, what a lot of rambliness. That’ll do for now.
So…’not-giving-me-praise-or-encouragement-(if-actual-praise-isn’t-warranted)’...off into Room 101 with you. I’m not wholly confident that even the thick-walled underground bunker that is 101 can hold it, but here’s hoping ;-)
Ooh, perhaps it’s working already; I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I got a really lovely e-mail which means a lot. Now it’s my manager’s turn…
1. Got a major rant out of my system courtesy of an understanding friend. Far safer than where it could have been unleashed.
2. Feeling more relaxed after work. I’m looking out of my window and I can see nice things and…I can hear nice things (y’know, like birds ‘n’ stuff). I know I’m lucky.
3. I am grateful that we are in a much better position than last year, despite all the difficulties that inevitably come up. In fact as I wrote that last sentence, I’ve just got a completely flippin’ lovely e-mail of appreciation from someone. Utterly perfect timing as my next move was to head over to Room 101 and have a moan. Actually I’m still going to do that, although my complaints may now be slightly tempered by this timely boost.
1. A beautiful day at last.
2. Finding two extremely superb features on my new work laptop; one of which was a tiny little joystick type thing planted in the middle of the keyboard that can also move the cursor around the screen. I can’t find any use for it, but by jingo I’m going to use it all the same. Precisely zero other people in the office felt the same way as I did. Pah, it’s their loss ;-)
3. I’ve got something really unpleasant to do tomorrow, but today was a day where I thought about all the effort and good things that a lot of people have been putting in. They deserve a reward and by the Power of Greyskull, I shall see what we can do.
1. Squirrels are totally skilliant. I saw one on the way home. To clarify – it was me that was on the way home; not sure about the squirrel. However, based on a vast squirrel-knowledge gained through cartoons and chocolate bar adverts I think it was probably collecting hazlenuts before it headed back to its dray (because that’s totally where squirrels live you know) to relax after a hard days squirreling. Yeah, so anyway, I love how they move, it’s so graceful. I could watch them for hours.
2. Finally got my new laptop at work. Not as cute as the squirrel, I grant you. But just show me a squirrel that can send and receive e-mails using inbuilt wireless technology. You know what, actually…don’t.
3. A good office-y day. Felt good and recovered quickly from my default morning grouchiness.
1. Met my mum at the airport and travelled back home with her for the weekend. Had a nice Saturday afternoon with one of my nephews. I have ace nephews :-)
2. Knowing what I need.
3. England winning the little-mini-cricket World-Cup.
I’ve not posted on this goal for months so I’ve come up with a handy template in lieu of future entries. All you have to do is change the date on the calendar thingy as appropriate. Ideally I will eventually do something worth drawing, but until then…
Hope this helps ;-)
1. Had a brilliant weekend, despite my initial lack of enthusiasm. Big thanks to a friend who twisted my arm and allowed me to reap the rewards.
2. Thanks to my mum, I am half-Danish and today I heard some Danes chatting on the train. I’ve not been there for years now so it was quite nostalgic and wonderful to hear.
3. I had some nice and unexpected feedback about some stuff I did many, many years ago. I think I had a tiny little insight into how it feels to be Z-list famous. It was good – now back to obscurity :-)
1. I did some politics yesterday and naturally, I’m still a little dazed if I’m honest. Though I am grateful I had a pretty dull, stroll-in/stroll-out voting experience. No queuing or shouting at TV cameras for me.
2. By about 12.30am last night, Labour were 3-0 and surely no one could see the Tories coming back from that. Imagine my suprise when I awoke to find they had not only pulled back the deficit, but sort of won. Who’d have thought it?! My legendary political savvy has taken something of a battering. It came as a relief then, to find that I can still recognise a smug, oily w*nker when I see one though.
1. I did a vote today. I’m grateful that I live in a country where my vote is worth exactly the same as someone who knows what they are talking about. Proud.
2. I was a bit worried that I had to really let someone down. But it was one of those rare occasions when the words that came out of my mouth were pretty much the ones that were in my head. So I don’t think they felt the way I feared they might. I feel good that I did it this way.
3. I also got to give some good news to someone who deserved it.
1. I heard about some great things someone did and I was so pleased they were able to see the difference they have made to a lot of people for themselves. I was delighted to bask in the good vibes they were giving off. Inspiring.
2. Rediscovering some more musical ‘gems’ – loads of them.
1. I’m grateful for showing almost superhuman restraint. I was forced to watch The Lake House last night and for an hour I resisted the temptation to complain loudly that he wasn’t using his ‘hotline to the future’ to get betting/share tips. Why the hell wouldn’t you find out who had won various sporting events so you could bet on them? Why, oh why? Back to the Future 2 never shied away from it and that’s why it’s a million times better than Keanu Reeves trying to be romantic (but nowhere near as good as the original Back to the Future, obviously). I already know how annoying I am to watch a film with and last night has not changed anyone’s mind :-D
2. I borrowed a video camera to help me practice a presentation. I look like a right tw*t, but it was funny and I’m getting used to it now.
3. Just knowing that it’s Bank Holiday tomorrow.
1. It was nice to hear my positive impressions about something confirmed.
2. A bottleneck was finally unblocked.
3. Tales of my recent heroic bee/wasp exploits have swept the insect world and none of them has dared enter my domain since; this despite leaving the windows wide open. Ha. I win :-)
1. A beautiful day.
2. For being able to sit back and read on my totally, awesomely, skilliant chrome/leather recliner that had been living in a cupboard under my mum’s stairs since I left town for uni six years ago. Reunited at long, long last.
3. Saving the office from a bee the size of a hamster.
You’re probably thinking ‘But bees are nice and make honey and don’t want to sting you unless they have to, because then they die,’, before adding ‘so what’s brave about that?’.
You would have a valid point, yes. But that was only the appetiser. I followed that with what can only be described as a tense stand-off with a wasp. A tense stand-off that ended in bitter defeat for my rather angry opponent – its humilation clear to see, as it was ushered off the premises via an open window.
Although my insect-based adventures will undoubtedly be recounted with awe and disbelief by future generations, I should clarify that neither bee nor wasp were harmed, though the bee left with a lot more credit and dignity than the arsehole wasp (which tried to attack innocent bystanders when it realised it was outgunned – no one likes a bad loser).
1. For getting something off my chest at the weekend. It’s probably not going to make me any less messed-up in the head and a problem shared is not necessarily a problem halved, but it took a lot of doing. Go me!
2. For the realisation of something cool. And that someone pointed it out to me.
3. Some inspiring enthusiasm from one of the team.
1. Picking up the pace as the day went on, culminating in a dodgy/totally ace Rocky analogy to a meeting full of confused (probably) faces. Eye of the Tiger!
2. Hopeful signs about the future.
3. Giving someone directions that were (a) correct, and (b) clear.
1. I did something nice for someone though not especially difficult. The person I tried to help was really thoughtful and gave me a nice present which was completely unnecessary. There are some lovely people out there and I’m very grateful.
2. Getting some nice feedback about something. It’s cool when someone takes the trouble to get in touch and lets you know about the good things.
3. A day full of positive things. Progress and nice people.
1. I’ve proposed a very different way of doing something, compared with what has been done before. A little less rigid I think.
2. Fresh pineapple.
3. Why oh why can’t I buy just one book at a time? I can’t seem to resist coming away with too many for me to read :-)
1. It was freezing cold and unpromisingly grey this morning and it turned into a beautiful Spring afternoon. I could smell the grassy, leafy, Springy goodness wafting into the office.
2. I usually recoil at the ringing of my office phone, it isn’t generally good news. Putting it another way, it is generally something time consuming and spoils any illusions that I may have a productive day. Today wasn’t any different in that regard, but one of the people ringing was absolutely lovely. Such a nice, enthusiastic person and it made the afternoon go all the better.
3. I booked tickets to see Malcolm Gladwell. Might be interesting.