brynot

Ok, I’ve thought about this a lot. Of course there are many wonderful women out there that are not pediatricians; however, I’ve narrowed it down to the career which holds the best potential for marriage.

Here’s why…

First, if you’re a woman or a man and you have a medical degree you’re probably smarter than the average jane/joe. Now being a smart doctor doesn’t mean that you’re not an asshole. So in comes the whole “loving children” thing that a pediatrician holds. If you’re going to be successful at that job you have to love kids. In order to really be a “lover of children” (not that kind), you have to be patient, rational, and most of all empathetic. If you can treat children this way then you’ll have no problem treating a man well. That’s simply because we require the same exact traits.

_Next, and this is just from being a parent and the personal experience I have gained, I cannot think of one female pediatrician under the age of 30 that hasn’t been pretty on these eyes. I think this is because in order to go through med school, intern, etc… at a young age, you have to be confident in yourself. The most confident people tend to not only be attractive but smart. So if you’re both, there’s not a whole lot holding you back.Therefore, you’ll have your head together at a younger age. You’ll know your goals and you’ll go after them while you’re young and not dally like the rest of us.

_Now onto money. I’m all for the rights and the equality of women in the workplace. If I can find me a a go-getter who wants to bring home the bacon, so be it. You’re obviously not going to hit the jackpot by marrying a pediatrician, but we’re not talking about living paycheck to paycheck either. As long as you can consistently contribute your crappy 24k a year at your teaching job, or your job in cubical hell, you’ll both be able to take that big vacation each year and drive something german.

_Now for the kicker… Reality is we’re talking marriage here. I’m not saying that it’s for everyone. God only knows it’s not for everyone. Having children makes it all a million times more intensive. All of those nights getting cheap hotel rooms, sunday drives in the country followed by sex on the blanket and hot nights out tripping the lights fantastic all go away. If you’re ready for all of that to end, the kicker to having a pediatrician as your wife is that your medical coverage and expenses for your kids is going to kick some ass. This is the kicker because now that you cannot do anymore of the aforementioned acts of romance, you spend your time trying not to go bankrupt from the amazing amount of healthcare that children require. Having mommy for the doctor fixes that right up. It’s a beautiful thing.

_Let’s review. Brains, love of children, emotional stability, money and free healthcare. Four qualities that you’re not going to equally find in a lawyer, a waitress, an accountant, a model, an activist, a writer, a cab driver, a hairdresser, a social worker, a vet, a mechanical engineer, an artist, a photographer, a porn star, a stripper, a teacher, a dog trainer, a musician, a former pop icon turned public nuisance, or anything else that I can think of.

_Let me clarify, this is not to say all women that are not pediatricians would be a bad choice in marriage. It’s like buying a new car, you can’t test drive a new Volkswagon at the Ford dealership. You have to first choose what company to go with based on the options they offer and then you can test drive the various models when you get there. No, I’m not saying women are cars, but a pediatrician would understand without me having to explain. God bless ‘em!