Waterfall Nymph

The chum yells at the title – we are not such American dunderheads we can’t understand the word philosopher.
Also, the chum BAWLED at the Mirror of Erised this time too. And we stopped to talk about how horrible the loss of Hermoine’s potion challenge is at the end and how she has to play the “girl” part when really she’s a tough chick.
Gearing up to re-start reading the books with Prisoner and then moving on into some of the scarier ones.

I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I’m afraid I’ve lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe with a nice toffee.[eats it] Mm, alas, earwax.

Re-watch – this time with the family. Still very funny. I wish Giselle hasn’t become quite so conventional by the end though. And also, why do we not dress like that?

Morgan honey, just because she has on a funny dress doesn’t mean she’s a princess.

The sky is melting. Me too.
Who hasn’t seen it this way?

Pink between the castlework
of buildings.

Pensive syrup
drizzled over clouds.

It is almost catastrophic how heavenly.

A million poets, at least,
have stood in this very spot,
groceries in hand, wondering:

“Can I witness the Rapture
and still make it home in time for dinner?”

“When I’m a scientist, I’m going to do an experiment and pour acid on the world.”

I added mentally then went forward on without ever actually writing it down.

I’ve been stuck on the same few pounds up and down all year and that’s over last year’s race weight of 167 which is still way over my recent preferred weight of about 160.

Anyway, I decided to fixate on this for the next week as my 2nd Olympic distance race is the 2nd and every pound makes a difference on that run course.

I was at 173.5 on Wednesday and I’m now at 171 flat – my previous low point for the year. I can stay focused for a week, right? Right?

it’s amazing how death
is always around the corner,
or not even so far away
as that, hiding in the little pleasures
that some of us would go
so far as to say
are the only things
keeping us alive

Starting with two things I already did so I’m not already 2 days late.

1. Deal with expired coffee drinks

2. Get my work email organized

3. Deposit all checks and make all transfers

4. Get the chum’s school billing transferred

5. Buy new lipstick and toothbrushes

6. Sort out clothes to offer to Thorin

7. Schedule mother’s day treat for mom

8. Wash car (s) One done

9. Start work on photo album

10. Ollie’s present

1. What did I learn last week?
The chum has completely different ideas about how his projects should be than I do. Now I have to figure out how to manage that.

2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week?
No single thing. Some steps forward – spoke my mind to Tom, pushed myself to talk to a lot of people at the party. Also the castle is done and turned in. And camps are scheduled – I think.

3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why?
It’s from last week but I’m writing it because I didn’t do last week – riding the kid’s fondo with the chum. 7 miles he did, and a lot of it with a flat. We had a lot of fun.

4. What do I regret from last week and what can I do about it/ learn from it?
Messing up on my exercise. Failing to get to it. I’m not sure what to learn. It’s hard.

5. What’s the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week?
Get myself together and get my priorities straight. I’m all a-jumble.

6. What is the most stressful thing in my life right now?
Too many things pushing to be the most important thing.

7 . How can I go about improving it?
Not sure. Make lists?

8. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done?
Piano practice. That new piece!

9. What opportunities are still on the table?
Summer vacation. Play dates this weekend.

10. What am I forgetting?
Present for Ollie. Presents in general! Faux mother’s day with mom!

11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to?
I called Bumble and Jim today,

12. How can I help someone else this coming week?
Sit with GG about his ideas.

13. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 months? (April – June)
1. Lose 5 pounds.
2. Manage the change in work structure
3. Restore the flower garden

14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years?
1. Do another half-iron man and significantly improve.
2. Completely remodel the house from top to bottom.
3. Oversee the rebuilding and restructuring of the company.

15. What recent actions have moved me closer to my goals?
1. Trying to log calories. Trying not to snack in the evening. Sigh.
2. Spent time with the two new people. More interviewing. J is at 90 days so it looks like she’s sticking.
3. It’s looking pretty good. I weeded a bit when the cleaners kicked me out of the house.

16. What’s the next step for each goal?
1. Well, sticking to logging food would be good.
2. Keep providing feedback and being engaged even when at home. Still need to have the change talk with K. Lots of interviews next week.
3. Finish water system upgrade so everything is covered.

17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week?
3 day weekend with no big plans.

18. What are my fears?
Not being present for the chum. Hurting myself on the bike. The company foundering.

19. What am I most grateful for?
GG and the chum. The beautiful place I live. Summer.

20. What can I do to make life more beautiful?
Pick flowers. Have fun. Keep worrying under control.

The chum read this to me last night. I’m not really a fan but the chum’s delight made it pretty good.

I tripped on my shoelace

And I fell up—

Up to the roof tops,

Up over the town,

Up past the tree tops,

Up over the mountains,

Up where the colors

Blend into the sounds.

But it got me so dizzy

When I looked around,

I got sick to my stomach

And I threw down.

As from the house your mother sees
You playing round the garden trees,
So you may see, if you will look
Through the windows of this book,
Another child, far, far away,
And in another garden, play.
But do not think you can at all,
By knocking on the window, call
That child to hear you. He intent
Is all on his play-business bent.
He does not hear; he will not look,
Nor yet be lured out of this book.
For, long ago, the truth to say,
He has grown up and gone away,
And it is but a child of air
That lingers in the garden there.

Tell the truth of experience
they say they also
say you must let
go learn to let go
let your children
go

and they go
and you stay
letting them go
because you are obedient and
respect everyone’s freedom
to go and you stay

and you want to tell the truth
because you are yours truly
its obedient servant
but you can’t because
you’re feeling what you’re not
supposed to feel you have
let them go and go and

you can’t say what you feel
because they might read
this poem and feel guilty
and some post-modern hack
will back them up
and make you feel guilty
and stop feeling which is
post-modern and what
you’re meant to feel

so you don’t write a poem
you line up words in prose
inside a journal trapped
like a scorpion in a locked
drawer to be opened by
your children let go
after lived life and all the time
a great wave bursting
howls and rears and

you have to let go
or you’re gone you’re
gone gasping you
let go
till the next wave
towers crumbles
shreds you to lace—

When you wake
your spine is twisted
like a sea-bird
inspecting the sky,
stripped by lightning.

The original one with Hayley Mills.

I’d never seen this. Better than I expected though a bit longer than I would have preferred. Cute cat! Went out and got Flash from his prowls after a while. I think the cat wasn’t saying anything, because he didn’t react.

Also, in France this movie was released as L’espion aux pattes de velours which I believe literally translates as The Spy with Legs of Velvet, which is awesome.

“Oh, it’s nothing, probably just an artery.”

1. Went out to lunch with GG and talked about stuff.

2. The Mother’s Day tea at the chum’s school was amazing. They presented us with hats that they had made (which completely did not fit), sang us three songs, (the chum kept making silly faces at me when he saw me starting to cry), presented us with certificates of appreciation, escorted us to lunch, and served us treats. So wonderful and sweet!

3. Reading with the chum all cuddled up on the couch.

When Americans say a man
takes liberties, they mean

he’s gone too far. In Philadelphia today I saw
a kid on a leash look mom-ward

and announce his fondest wish: one
bicentennial burger, hold

the relish. Hold is forget,
in American.

On the courts of Philadelphia
the rich prepare

to serve, to fault. The language is a game as well,
in which love can mean nothing,

doubletalk mean lie. I’m saying
doubletalk with me. I’m saying

go so far the customs are untold.
Make nothing without words,

and let me be
the one you never hold.

and I’ve even started the 3 things goal again.
Suck it, procrastination!

The couple in front of me was from another country and did not know the ways of our American security system. I let the woman cut me as they had been separated, got her some bins, and explained that they would need to take off shoes and remove watches and such.
LAX is not very novice friendly and for some reason the people off international flights just get dumped into domestic security without any support!

1. My run wasn’t too bad. Usually the LA runs are horrendous but I felt OK and made it back at a time that worked well with work start times.

2. The grilled cheese at Troy’s Burgers is really good. Totally hit the spot – plus I got the foursquare mayorship. Also good about Troy’s – there’s an error on the menu board that lists “Skakes”. That makes me happy every time.

3. The plane landed 10 minutes early and I always like walking to the car listening to music. Very “the soundtrack to the movie of my life”- ish.

1. No seatmate!

2. GG advised me to nap so after my afternoon meeting got rescheduled I snuck off and did. Felt much better afterward.

3. J presented her new compensation project plan. Very exciting if thick and full of information.

They listen to the myna birds dicker in the grass.
The child’s blue shoes are caked with
garden dirt. When he runs, she sees the antics
of a pair of wrens. She works the garden,

a pot of rusting gardenias has given off its ales
and infused the danker germinations of her
grief. She watches her son chase pigeons,
kick at the leaves piled high. Now, a magpie

adds to his cascades of laughter as he runs with
the hose, pours a fine spray, happy to be giving
to the grass this silver courtship. She sighs,
watches the drops settle in. Today, who

can explain the sadness she feels. Surely this
day is to be treasured: the sun out, the breeze
like a cat’s tongue licking a moon of milk;
her son expending himself in small, public

bursts, happy among clover where bees hover,
and unfold centrefolds of nectar. Today,
who can explain the heaviness in her head, as if
all her worries were tomes toward a larger work,

one she knows she will never finish, but to which
she must keep adding, thought by thought.
She sweeps the petals, smells their russet imprint.
Soon dusk will come with an envoy of smoke

and her son outlast her patience by a rose.
Already he is tiring, puling at the flowers.
It won’t be long before they’ll go in, listen
to the jug purr comfort. He’ll sleep and she’ll

lie back, or get up to unhook the cry of her cat
from the wire door. Now, a few cicadas are idling,
giving each other the gun and a cockatoo calls,
a haughty felon. She sighs, knowing she won’t

escape her mood today, the turned earth
or its rank persuasions; her child’s petulance
flaring like an orchid, or a cockatoo’s unruly crest.
Today, she knows she will need to consider

her unhappiness, of what she is a prisoner – if not
the loss of hope’s particulars. Her son soaks
the path, rinses the sky of its featureless blue.
He is giving that water, now, to everything.

1. What did I learn last week?
Sometimes you can play your cards and do all the politics and win the game but you can’t fix the underlying issue so you lose anyway.

2. What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week?
Metric century ride in the heat with GG. Serious push to the fitness level and made me come head to head with my mental toughness issues.

3. Which moment from last week was the most memorable and why?
Probably riding with GG. My own personal marshall.

4. What do I regret from last week and what can I do about it/ learn from it?
We didn’t get a resignation from R. The situation coming to a head has made me realize how much I would like her to be gone and no longer causing drama. How inevitable it has become and how she’s done that to herself.

5. What’s the #1 thing I need to accomplish this week?
There are so many number 1s. Life number one is make the chum’s costume for the Medieval Feast next week. Work number one is pull together information about WMS before Tuesday’s meeting.

6. What is the most stressful thing in my life right now?
Too many things at once!

7 . How can I go about improving it?
Such a good question.

8. What have I been avoiding that needs to get done?
Ride the bike on the road!

9. What opportunities are still on the table?
Summer vacation. The chum’s camps.

10. What am I forgetting?
To schedule a dermatologist appointment. Camps!

11. Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to?
Probably.

12. How can I help someone else this coming week?
Help GG plan meals. Go to the market on Monday or something.

13. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 months? (April – June)
1. Lose 5 pounds.
2. Manage the change in work structure
3. Restore the flower garden

14. What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years?
1. Do another half-iron man and significantly improve.
2. Completely remodel the house from top to bottom.
3. Oversee the rebuilding and restructuring of the company.

15. Have any of my recent actions moved me closer to my goals?
1. I think so. I’ve had a few good days since the big ride. We’ll find out when I get back home to my scale.
2. Gave feedback on new employee manual. Pushed to hire new director of purchasing. Came to understanding about R.
3. It’s looking pretty great. We got part of the water system restarted. HUGE project.

16. What’s the next step for each goal?
1. Keep on.
2. Hopefully we’ve hired a controller. Have a good meeting? Try to get a decision on the lawyer.
3. I doubt there’s time to do anything this week but to get another section of the water system done would be great..

17. What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week?
Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day tea!

18. What are my fears?
Illness. Failing to unclip and hurting myself. Not being there for the chum. Making bad choices that bankrupts my family.

19. What am I most grateful for?
Love

20. What can I do to make life more beautiful?
Be outside. Listen to music. Love my husband.