burning_rose

I guess the title says just about everything. I am hurt and confused. The reason is constantly getting lied to and deceived by people that “care about me”. How does treating me like that show me love? I do not understand. Why can’t people be honest? Don’t they realize that you can not have a relationship based on lies?

I was so happy when I was young. I met a wonderful man or a man that I thought was wonderful. Things were very good and he was very understanding and caring. Then over time, he began to control my life. It started small like being curious about who was on the phone with me and what I did while he was at work. I didn’t think much of it since it did not get any worse. Then we spent the greatest evening together. We both got dressed up nice and went to dinner. He asked me to marry him when I had no idea it was about to happen. The problems started to escalate when we were married. He became physically and mentally abusive. I felt like my life meant nothing to anyone. I stayed with him for several years. I did not feel like I would be able to make it on my own and I was afraid and unhappy. Finally I got away from him. (That is the reason for me not listing my city. I do not want to chance him finding me again.)

I was so happy before our marriage and he destroyed the woman I was. I became untrusting, very unhappy and spiteful.

I want to keep reminding myself that “I” control my happiness and that I should never let anyone have that much control over me again.