cagey

I have to add a half pound to the amount to lose to bring me BELOW 200 lbs. So I’m down to 201.5, with two pounds to go.

I started with this goal, to weigh less than 200 lbs. because of a statement someone made in another web group, that they were members of the “200 Club, ha ha”.

Not funny to me. This is a club I did not want to be a member of. It irked me that at my weight I could not deny that I was a member, with full membership benefits: lack of fitness, bad knees, at risk for obesity related illnesses. That one statement made me determined to get below 200 lbs. and resign my membership. In another week or so, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing. For good. With new goals and resignations from other clubs that aren’t serving me well, like the Extra Large Portion Club and the Exercise Resistors Club.

that I am not listening to my intuition. Some days I actively ignore it and listen to the negative, procrastinating, voices of avoidance in my head. It’s when I listen to these negative voices that I become depressed. I think meditation is helping me to understand this and turn it around.

I’m finding that this goal is more profound and more meaningful in my life than I had thought when I first entered it here. I must have understood that on some level when I moved it to the number one spot.

3.5 more to go.