this does not include my mother.
my cousin who is close in age, personality and interests and i have been thick as thieves since a wee age. she was always my favorite person, always the person i looked most forward to seeing. i always wanted to be like her, act like her, look like her (mindyouthisiswheniwasundertheagef10). i only got to see her every other weekend since my parents split and i lived with my mom, but we always had to see each other. we got older, i moved to arizona with mama bear but when ever i came back we spent as much time together as we could. she was the first person i got high with, who i met guys with and did all that thirteen-esque crap with. she was my soul sista, the j to my pb&j, ya dig? i skeet back to indiana and she and i spend every waking moment outside of school with each other and others. every weekend, every crazy thing, every vomit on your feet. we were ridiculously close. then she went to college.
i wasnt allowed to visit due to my fathers lack of trust in me, rightfully so too sir. and then my whole world stopped, dead and cold in its tracks. and everything went black…she made me a scrapbook and it was lovely but things were strained. she began dating a young man who we both knew who lacked a high school diploma, permanent residence and steady income. among other issues.
now, im not a perfect young woman but to shack up and sleep with someone, there must be something going on up top and in his life.eventually she was housing him, lying to her parents and asking friends for money for him. i was fed up. we didnt speak for a while. then we did. and then we decided to room together with three other females. this is when the dark, ominous music would start playing.
things were good. we had killer parties and got kittens. decorated totally cute and hung on our porch couch. life was good. then one of the vaginas moved out for childish reasons, i promise. and we all united. things were good. lots of good times. then it was the big 21 and i was really excited for her. we threw her a party, i poured my love into it and got together our old group of friends. it was important to me that she had a memorable eve. she never said thank you then ditched out on our new years eve shin dig that had been planned for months for new 21 year old friends and bars. we were pissed, a bit. but 25 bottles of champagne later, not so much. but this is when things started to fade from lovely and happy to just god awful.
she got a dog. and never asked or informed any of us. oh then she left it at home in a cage for hours and hours. and while she went out to the bars. soon thereafter, one of my other roommates and her got into over something that she, my cuzz buzz was the primary problem starter of. and a series of other things occured. that one dirt bag lived with us because he got evicted, that was ok. excusable i guess. then she dumped him and things were worse then. but hum drum the worst part was when she brought home juiceman from the bars. thats what he referred to himself as. oh yeah. even worse than dirt bag. and sir juiceman stayed for a week, everynight.
side note: this lovely lady comes from a complete, intact family with parents that have been married for 30 years. i was always so jealous of the normalcy and love that you could just feel in her house and at the dinner table. i cant remember ever eating dinner with both of my parents. we were both also raised to respect and love ourselves.
like i said, im no saint but homegirl does not let random dick anywhere near or around my lady bits. not that i haven’t, im not a prude i just respect my nether regions and my heart. she however does not.
so we were all bothered by this. then she stopped coming home. no one had any idea where she was and anytime my aunt came, she parked her car in the lot and waited on the porch for her. but did not stay in la casa. i do not agree with living with someone you do not know, hello murderers and rapists and things of the like. alas, she is not that smart. but anywhoo, the whole time her parentals had no idea and im assuming thought things were peachy. i have no idea. then i went to chicago for a weekend all hell broke loose. you see she had moved back in with juiceman. he showerd and shit in our bathroom and all the while she said no he fucking doesnt live here, to her mother bear. but anyway, other roommate called the cops because cuzz buzz took some stuff, i dont know. nevertheless, we never had confrontation till this point and it was minimal. her mom tried to text communicate with me, i did not receive this to be a good idea.
fastforward to today: tomorrow i will be leaving with my love for florida! for her sisters wedding, my other cousin…who knows what has happened or what has been said about me but it cant be good.
i will be trying to take the high road (BILLIE MAYS IS DOING AN INFOMERCIAL—KREEPY) and smile and just i guess pretend like it aint no thang. but so secretly, i want justice. i want her fast and loose lifestyle to be revealed because you see she is the golden one. the most loved. our family has always cared/liked/loved she and her sister so much more than i. this is not meant to make you sad, its just the truth, no one can dispute it. and for what ever reason right? oh shes on the deans list! why arent you?” she is an elementary art education major, hello coloring. i am slightly jealous that she is so loved but then i realize its all because of a giant rats nest of lies that she and mama bear have so carefully cultivated to cover the truth, that im not so jealous.
but, so, however
this is the weekend i am supposed to make peace with her and them. i shall try so very hard.
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