cathibeth

We are threads. We have been cut before our time was even here. Our length… well we can shorten it, or lengthen it through choice, but not by that much. It is what it is suppose to be, for the most part.

We are a tapestry. Our threads make that tapestry. We are intertwined, we are woven in and out and around all the other threads and affect those other threads as they affect us.

We leave our fibers on these threads we’ve intertwined with, leaving the other forever changed in someway. We affect and influence others as they affect and influence even more. Our impact is not immediate sometimes, and can and will impact others… from others… from others. But always our impact is right.

Points are made in this tapestry that our thread must travel as we must impact others. This is not our choice, but it is necessary to help build the beauty of the whole. Of this there is no choice as it is to support other threads. For without our thread traveling there, the tapestry is not as strong nor complete.

Through these points and through who we are intertwined with it is our choice on how vibrant we are or how dark. Do we stand and shine above and be seen highlighting, are we on the underside supporting, or are we dark and deep; this is our choice. It is our choice on how strong we are, bendable, malleable, how fragile or vitreous we appear. It is our choice.

Our colors affect. There is action and reaction in this. All colors are necessary. We all fit. Our threads compliment and contrast. There is none that is wrong as it makes the whole.

Our strengths affect. Again, there is action and reaction in this. All strengths are necessary. We all fit. Our strengths bring others up or push them down. Direct and divert. Again., there is none that is wrong as it makes us as a whole.

Threads are not just the other threads you’ve been intertwined with for a duration, but there are some threads which pass by directing your thread a different direction than the path the thread was on. This is not by choice, but by design. It is the time of life that life takes such a dramatic change and you move onward, just a different course from before. And then… and then… there are threads that come in and out of your own path, again, for a reason.

Some threads will always stay and be associated with yours. This is family. Some threads will stay for an eternity, intertwine and direct, these are the friends who become family. Some threads are for a certain duration and these are the friends. And then some threads will brush by one day and you’ll never intertwine again. All are for a purpose, to direct, influence and divert.

Our choices; color and strength; affect. We are brought together minimally by choice. How we chose to affect those around us is our choice. And to a point we, our own threads in such a large masterpiece are able to divert, lengthen, shorten and change ourselves and of those around us. We are just a small bit of the tapestry.

I just finished my last weekend out for a bit, I need some down time. I feel like I’ve been reliving my early 20’s… didn’t get a chance to do that then, so I get to do it now. A bit of craziness, a lot of laughter, and a ton o fun. Wholly buckets, when I look at pictures and read my journal from August until today I’ve been giving her pretty good. Here and there and everywhere else. Busy is good… now I plan some different business. It is time to throttle back just a bit.

I’m going to do a mural and that will take some time, this will be fun. I am also going to fit in a ton o painting for myself. This is good too! Photography, music, art. That’s what January will be for me.

We just had an ice storm and I went out to take pictures. I am disappointed in the pictures that I took as my D80 and I seem to be having an argument of sorts… you know the one of what it is going to focus in on. My Sony and Kodak did a better job than the Nikon did. I have no idea why.

I’m thinking of getting a part time job. Maybe. With a chaotic work schedule it is a bit difficult to completely commit to something else.

Boys… huh. I’ve had a couple that have been interested and then I shut them down. Must mean I’m not ready to even date. But I’m thinking that that is near. But still I walk away quickly from those interested… any closeness or continuation of what could be, or headed that way… I’ll intentionally take it off of that path. Just call me sabotage Cathie. I need to have patience with myself.

I love being random right now. Random thoughts, random words, random deeds. It is fantastic. I have random friends in so many different circles, thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and I love them all. I think I will go through life randomly. I like it.

Happiness is part of me. I was being goofy last night. Dancing and laughing and just being me. Someone said, “I wish I could have that happiness” and really it comes from within. It made me sad for him as it made me feel that he was so alone. I cannot change attitude in a person, but I can encourage a change.

I’m not going to make this my mission. I’m going to take an interest though.

Patience is what I need. I need more patience with other people. I have a tendency to go straight from A-Z in my thoughts and not recite each letter of the alphabet. I need to be okay with people who do go through each step and work it out…