church up and out and arrive in time.
a short trip to Wal Mart.
Peaceful lunch with the boys and hubby.
Empanadas made and taste good to me, but not to hubby.
photographer showing up on time and being patient with four adults, and six kids. Stepson did not want to be a part of anything with us.
Pizza for supper.
Two days of Bible reading so still caught up.
Warmer day today, and clear.
Boys going out and playing in the snow for an hour.
Watching “The Way” again and now the oldest says he wants to do it with me. I told him that maybe him and his brother should go when they are eighteen. He said no way, I have to do it with you. God willing!
Some really cute photo’s. The boys, not so much with their fake smiles, but still nice to have them. It has been way too long since we have had photo’s taken. Perhaps we will do it again in the spring.
Now bedtime! Yay!
getting all the bed sheets and blankets washed.
getting all the laundry done.
getting both bathrooms cleaned.
my grandson fixing my steam cleaner.
getting the floors steam cleaned.
watching the movie “The Way “~now the two grandsons that live with me want to go on this walk.
getting the vegetables cooked for empanadas.
going to Menards and being able to leave the oldest with his mother. Wasn’t room for all four in the truck.
picking my rug up for the cat room at Menards.
Got a lot of stuff that I have started writing. I started a letter to Maria Shriver, but my daughter says NO to that and to make it into a book. So I have about twelve papers so far. She is going to write a book on my sister and asked me to write down my memories so that is in the works, only two pages so far. I have a letter to Hoda from the Today Show. Let’s see there is a letter to a stroller company. Also a letter to the family of my brother friend that just passed away. This has had a huge impact on me as he was diagnosed about the same time as I was. He was five years younger than me. So many people wrote so much beautiful stuff of him on Facebook, and I look at me and I don’t really have any friends. I have nothing per say that I contributed to society. I have a daughter and six beautiful grandkids and of course my husband. I have no money, my house is a roof over our heads. Oh, I can’t forget my two cats that are left.
The test I was to go for today was a bone scan to see if the cancer is back in my bones. Half of me thinks it is, and the other half of me thinks it’s not. The changes I experience I say is due to the prolonged chemo(three years). The people at the cancer institute keep telling me I have done miraculously. Yet at the same time they tell me there are hundreds of woman like me out thereright. The pastor says we are all terminal and none of us get out alive. He is right about that. I had really hoped to do something with my life. I wanted to travel, but no money.
It’s funny, but when I was young I worked so hard to make it in life. Coming from a dysfunctional family. Kidnapped by my dad at three along with my brother’s and sisters. Then being back with mom, and her boyfriend who was an alcoholic and use to beat her. Than they got back together. They didn’t talk to one another for a long time. Than dad got hit by a train and was in the hospital months. The counselor I saw years ago said I had abandonment issuesyou think? Well my husband has a lot of faults, but it is him that made my life feel okay. I always felt crazy before I meet him, and he made me feel sane.
I guess there really is no point to this rambeling so gonna go to bed and see if I can sleep since I have been so tired.
Thankful for the kids having school. Thankful that I am not under pressure, other than myself to do things. Not very motivated today. Actually I have been tired a lot. Thankful the kids made a mistake and got off at there moms so I got to lay in bed for an hour this afternoon. Thankful my daughter brought them home and I did not have to go out and get them. Thankful that my husband has been patient with me lately. Also thankful that he makes me tea and brings it down to me. Also thankful that he put the clothes in the dryer and put the next load in the washer. This gives me a little jump on cleaning up tomorrow for the kids chore day. Thankful that they didn’t mind making and eating a ham and cheese sandwich for supper tonight. Thankful that we remain up to date with the Bible. I am also thankful that I have things to be thankful for.
The oldest was getting out at 1:30, but bus picked him up at 12:30, yet it took two hours to get home. They couldn’t get through the usual route so they had to turn around and go the long way round. I am so thankful they made it home safe. The other two got out at 2:30 and were home by 3:30. They both said the roads were good. Thankful for that as well. Stayed home all day and got my tax stuff together. I am thankful that I finally got it ready and will take it in on Tuesday. Had good food, and thankful for that. Not loosing any weight, but right now am not gaining either. Cancelled my appointment for tomorrow. It’s two early with the roads be like they were today. They have to call me back to reschedule. I am thankful that I cancelled it, and won’t be stressing about driving myself in the morning. Maybe tomorrow I can finally work on some painting again. Thanks be to God!
She has given me six beautiful grandchildren. Thankful through the time she has grown to appreciate me more. Thankful for the boys going to school. Thankful for a nice celebration of my daughters birthday. The second actually kept himself together pretty good tonight. Thankful for the day, and thankful for being in bed by 9:30. So tired tonight. Wednesday March 5, 2014
So very thankful the teacher e-mailed to let me know grandson number two once again had money and bought three Gatorades for him and his friends. The Gatorades were confiscated, and the silver coins he took from me were returned. He thought nothing of it. He actually got mad it me for trying to talk to him about it. I am thankful I got my trip into town before the snow hit. I am really thankful the kids all made it home on the bus, even though number two and three were an hour and forty minutes to get home. They were all safe, and the bus driver turned around and went back, even though I offered him a room for the night.
Thankful for the company of number four going with me to town. He was so funny and told me his legs were hungry and wanted food to eat. Then he had to “POOP”. This is an every time he goes out he has to go. Thankful for my delicious food, and for hubby making tortilla’s for my daughter birthday tomorrow. I am disappointed that I didn’t find a good gift for her, but hope what she likes what I got her just the same. March 4, 2014 Tuesday!
Thankful for good roads to drive to chemo today. Thankful for a pleasant visit with the PA. Thankful for the pleasant nurses that gave me the chemo. Thankful for the art project I go to do this morning. I am thankful for a visit with Cheryl the research nurse. Thankful for getting out of chemo time to go to the Christian store, Menard’s and drop off the metal. Husband was thankful that I finally got rid of the metal. I was thankful Menards had the light switch plates. Thankful the car finally stopped when I hit the traffic and I did not end up in an accident. Thankful for a nice dinner and the oldest helping me prepare. Thankful the second put dishes away and we got everything cleaned up. Thankful we read the Bible early. Thankful my daughter is finally coming into herself and growing up. Last night she wrote her second children’s book in two weeks, and they sound as good as anything that is already published. now she needs to find a publisher. Thankful she is starting to believe in herself.
I think I have already established how thankful I am for Sunday’s and how grateful I am to go to the church I belong too! I got up and ready, but was still running late. My daughter actually go there before me. I was so proud and thankful she got up with the other March birthday people including the second grandson and they both said their name, ages, and birthdays! It is a huge step in the right direction. I am thankful for the good food we ate today. I am thankful that the second wasn’t as bad as he could be. I did send him down to take some quiet time, as opposed to a nap. Thankful that the oldest told and gave my money pouch bag before the second snuck it to school and spent it like the money he took last month and spent. The oldest tells me I don’t want to get him in trouble, but he took your pouch of money. I am always thankful for the little progress that they each make, but it is still frustrating repeating the same things over, and over. The child is going to be ten. He is determined to not tell the truth. Even when you see him, or catch him at it, he still says he didn’t do it. Or it’s not his fault. Just Thank God!
the weekend and a new month. So very thankful the boys let me sleep till nine this morning. This never happens. The second grandson was up early and by 10:30 was already in a meltdown. I was thankful that he had his breakfast before falling apart. He did end up taken a nap. Gong to be ten on the tenth and there he was all curled up in a ball sucking his thumb, so very peacefully sleeping. It was just enough to rejuvenate him and get his attitude adjusted. Always thankful for cooperation from the boys. They were getting antsy in the afternoon so I had the oldest do the sweet potatoes, and the second to mix up gluten free vegan cake. I was thankful for the help and they were thankful I gave them a piece of cake a supper. Another sub zero day with wind chills around minus twenty. I am still so thankful for being there for my brother during this time of loss of his best friend and a long time friend from teenage years. He is really needing all the support he can get. Thankful for my husband and how he often helps me clean up, do laundry or whatever!
I have slipped a little, but not in the binge kind of way. It’s more like I ate a piece of cheese when that is one of the things I am choosing not to eat. Also ate a bite of noodles a couple of times and find that they have lost their appeal. Hold fast to the no pop, candy, ice cream, cake(unless it is vegan and more toward the gluten free side of things), no cookies (even though we have made some several times), no pie either. My daughter thinks I need to keep this on here for six months or more. Haven’t decided about that yet~
Thankful for canceling the boys appointments. Just couldn’t face going out in the cold weather and didn’t feel like driving in the snow. Thankful The second grandson went to school and got to go on the field trip. Thankful the older stayed home so he didn’t have to flip out about not being a loud to go on the field trip. All around it was better for us all. Thankful for sharing my food with my daughter and the grandkids at lunch. Thankful for when they went home. They kind of over stayed there welcome and we were all getting on each others nerves. Thankful I got a cat nap on the couch today. Thankful hubby was so pleasant about things when he got home from work today. Thankful my daughter read my three letters I am working on. The one letter she said I cannot sent, but that I need to keep working on it and make it a book of my memories. We shall see if God leads me that way. Thankful the boys are in bed and I have quiet to myself! I really love time to myself, but I really like being a social butterfly sometimes too! I think it is a gift to be both ways and I am thankful for any and all gifts that I have.
So very thankful even though the second grandson took thirty-five minutes to get dressed once he was out of the shower, but that he was still ready when the bus came for him. I am always thankful that the oldest grandson does extra things to help me. He vacuumed the carpet this morning before going to school. I am thankful for soy bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches…yum. I am thankful that the kids were excellent for me this evening while my daughter took the second for his eye check. I am also thankful that she had dinner ready for all the kids. Thankful hubby came over and sat with me a bit while I watched the kids. I am thankful to be home and ready for bed. Decided to cancel the boys appointment tomorrow so the second will go to school, but the oldest will stay home with me. Not sure if the paraprofessional will be there.
Apparently my brother got his car last night and drove all night long to get back to TN. He was forty miles from the hospital when his friend passed. I am so sad for the loss of his friend. His name was Chance. I am thankful I was there for my brother to sound off on me the last seven weeks. I am thankful for my daughters ability of putting words down on paper. I am thankful hubby doesn’t get upset with me for doing what seems like nothing. We got three drafts of letters done today. The oldest grandson is constantly pushing, pushing, pushing. I am told this is part of a Virgo personality. The second grandson continues to be a problem on the bus, but the bus drivers aren’t saying anything, and if they are it seems as if nothing is being done about it. He continues to come home and suck his thumb constantly, and fall apart when things don’t go the way he wishes them too. Me, I have been crabby for no apparent reason. Hubby is constantly in pain with his jaw. Somehow I don’t think all this is a great mix, but we are family! I am so thankful for family. Thankful for having a nice cup of tea before going to daughter house to work on the letters, and I am thankful for being alive.
problem is I can think the words better than I can write them. I also discovered over the past few days of spending time with my daughter that I give her the ideas and she is excellent on putting it on paper. We are a great team. However, she is trying to find herself and doesn’t really want to be a team. I have so many letters I want to write. Time and words…
So thankful for finishing the second grandsons science project with only a few meltdowns. Thankful daughter drove me to get the rest of the stuff. Roads were icy in and outside of town and I would have turned around and said for get it. Thankful hubby was patient enough to help us finish the project. Thankful my brother finally got his car parts. I pray the mechanic finishes the car tomorrow, and that he makes it back in time to say good bye to his friend. Thankful daughter made dinner for the boys again tonight, and that she helped finish the science project by taking the pictures. Thankful she is going to take care of sending the pictures to the teacher and that the rest of the project will be done at school.
Went with daughter to look for something at Lowes to make the second oldest grandsons science project. Thankful my daughter went with me and found something that will work. Thankful my husband decided to help me build it. Second grandson was flipping out and we didn’t do it right and it has to be this way, and it has to be, and it has to be, and it has to be. Once I got him calmed down and the one part of the project was finished he loved it. Thank God! Talked to a friend via Facebook chat. She went back to Mexico tree or four years ago for the immigration process. Something wasn’t filled out right and she got stuck in Mexico with her two girls here with he guy she was married to. She is getting divorced, she is no longer eligible for papers. Her two girls are here with her mom. She has a new guy, and a four month old baby. Thankful I was there for her to talk too. My brother is still stuck in NJ. His friend is now in the hospital and is so weak he cannot pick his head up. I am praying that he can get his car fixed into to see his friend before he leaves this world. It is so sad, but I am thankful that I sent his friend a card last week and this week. I have done that monthly for more than a year when my brother told me he had incurable cancer with no treatment. He lived months longer than the doctor said. I am so thankful for where I am.
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future. Love going to church~so grateful and thankful to be a part of the church I go to. Today we learned of the four kinds of love, which I had never heard of before. Today at Wal Mart my daughter pointed out there was a gal I used to work with. She is the one I asked if her sister would like to go to church with me. It was a good thing so I introduced myself to the girl and asked her if she would like to come. She said sure. I took her over and introduced her to my daughter and four of the grandkids. My hope is that the girl(who will be thirteen in a month or so) will like my family and we can give her another look at life. I don’t think hers was too good. Her mom died two years ago, and her sister took her because the dad was not caring for her. Both her parents were alcoholics from what the gal told me. She took the sister because she feels obligated not because she really wanted her. She does not want her and already told her if she gets pregnant she is out. I am thankful for a day like today. The boys went out and played over an hour even though temp was in the teens. It was sunny and I am always thankful for that. The sun just makes me feel better, happier, and alive. I am thankful that I tried vegan meatballs again. They were better than the first ones, but still just so, so. Thankful for daughter finally finding someone who may take our photos. We are hoping for next Sunday. We will invite my husbands son, wife and the baby. That was the plan we had in October when we first tried to find someone. God willing this time it will work out.
Thankful the boys did their chores with no problems. Thankful we finished early and went to daughters with lunch. We planned a day to watch a movie and the kids would have ice cream party. The second fell apart and I had to leave with him so I missed the movie. He had to take a nap. I was thankful once the screaming stopped he did fall asleep and once he woke up he was like a new person. Very helpful and pleasant. He did not say a word about missing the movie or the ice cream. Thankful that the two boys mixed up recipes for me so I got pancakes cooked for breakfast this week. Also got pumpkin muffins and chocolate chip cookies baked. It was a very pleasant night. Thankful to still be up on the bible.
Doors are hung. Now we need to figure out what we will put to open and close the doors, especially since they have to be locked to keep the kids out. Then the trim and the curtains, and the flooring. Still haven’t decided on the flooring, but inch, by inch…step by step we will get there. I still have one wall to paint in the living room. I figure it is going to take $150 to finish the trim in the house.