catseye05

Well Im 21 years old and now my panick attacks are turning into anger. I had severe panick attacks in highschool but now instead of having panick attacks Im having bits of rage. About a month ago my dads friends son “worked on my car”. When he really didnt and just ran a half a tank of gas out and took the parts money ($400 dollars) and did who knows what with it. Long story and one that Im not going to explain. I came home from work and my dad had looked at the car and told me that he did not do a single thing to it. So I went into our bathroom and just something popped. I started punching the wall and screaming. Oh yes now there are holes in our bathroom wall. I had a shitty day at work. Well thats been the norm recently (having a shitty day at work). So people were trying to fuck with me at work and this moron fucked with me and my car. So that day I just popped.
So now Im still angry at work because of this new girl and these old hags. She was nice at first and then some of the old bitches in there started running there mouths. So the other day the girl comes up to my desk and (well i had just moved back to the old desk that I had) and so she says something to me and I go yeah I used to sit here before, she goes why did you move, I started to tell her but I said its a long story, and she goes in a snotty little attidudeyish way. So you got the raw deal or some shit like that. Now I have not said two mother f*ing words to this girl and now all of a sudden she thinks she knows the whole situation. shes only been at the job for like two weeks. So I know that those old witches have been talking.These people are nice to your face and then go on break and talk shit about you, Im SICK of IT!!! But I guess that is how the marvelous adult world is. I just want to be left alone. I have too much shit going on to sit there and be like a little twelve year old and gossip and talk shit about people. These people have nothing better to do I guess. UGGGGHHHH they just piss me off. So I know that NOW IM DONE. Im putting in applications this week for a new job. Its been a long time coming. Six months ago(Ive been there a year) I put in my two weeks notice but I wound up talking to the boss and said I would stay. Im getting to the point where I want to learn how to live out in the wilderness. But no matter where you go life is going to be hard, you just have to roll with the punches or be the one dishing them out,lol.
Im a sincerly nice person but people are always going to either hate you for no reason or be jeolous of you, or misconstrew what you say. These people dont realize that Im still recovering from having agoraphobia, (being afraid of being out around people, having panick attacks, etc) Im not good at making friends, or being social. I guess I need to take acting classes to learn how to be fake…....
Maybe Im just going crazy…..

Ever since I worked at Michaels in my senior year of highschool Ive been so into sportbikes. The sound alone is just pure heaven. I could listen to them all day.The guy I worked with at michaels had a bike and I was so intrigued. Id watch him back the bike out of the parking spot when he left. Just wishing that I was pulling out on one. Well I also had a thing for him but he wasnt interested in me and also had a girlfriend. Even if he had been interested in me I have morals and I would not go out with someone with a girlfriend. The girl started working at Michaels and was a really nice person. They were definently perfect for each other.
Anyways back to my love affair of bikes. Since my senior year of highschool Ive been wanting to get a bike and also have been looking into careers dealing with bikes. I was thinking about the motorcycle mechanics institute over in orlando. And that thought is still there in the back of my mind.
Ive had some health issues arise and that has set me back as far as my goals. But I will keep on treking because what else is there to do?
My plan is to but a used 250cc ninja in december and go back to the motorcycle class. Yeah I went to the class about a month after I graduated from highschool but I did not complete it. You have to be on the bike for six hours straight on a saturday and sunday and I was way too out of shape…muscles that I didnt not know that I even had, ached…yes big baby… but by december Im going to be prepared. Oh yes and that thursday after I took the motorcycle class I was in a four car pile up on 19 and now i have a slipped disk… the joy. But I will live and I WILL HAVE A BIKE.

Well, last weekend my dad taught me how to change the oil in my car. I felt so liberated, lol. So, incredibly proud of myself. Though, I think I found (well cross my fingers) a good mechanic. I dropped off my baby on Friday and the guy is supposed to look at her on Monday. Shes got a new water leak and well ofcourse oil leaks. Theres nothing that Im going to do about the oil leaks right now because Im probably going to buy a new engine for her once I get her paid off. I just need her to run me to school and work for the next year. Yes, I even named her…Katana…lol. What can I say I love my Mustang.