ccn43

I have always wondered how I would make an impact or a difference in the world. One person can do so I know, yet how is it possible and how will you ever know? My friend said something that finally put my mind and heart to ease a few nights ago..and she told me that you have made a difference already, whether you know it or not or whether you never get to know it..you have, youve started it already by standing up for whats right and what you believe you deserve. You will be able to tell other people about things and your children ..your daughter your son, and they will know how to react whenever their faced with it and so on and so on ..You have made an impact..it make take a while to surface…you might never see the benefits but its happening already..and I cried because something that I feared was me not doing enough and letting everything that I thought I should do go…she let me know, that I have done something to make a difference and its been noticed even if by one person and I will make a change eventually. She put my mind and my heart to ease and I felt as if this huge weight had been lifted from me. For someone to notice my efforts for something I had been struggling for so long with and for it to change their feelings that right there is enough for me.

I have always wanted to have the courage to do this. I know that I would be nervous out of my mind. I write my own songs and put them to music on my guitar and sometimes i record them just for myself and have only let a handful of people ever hear the things that I have done. I write my heart and soul into it and it really just leaves me vulnerable to those people shows my inside my heart to them. Yet I feel that knowing that people are listening to my heart and may feel the same way and may be inspired by it or may jog their minds to think differently about something may be well worth it. I think it would be an amazing feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction and release of emotion all at the same time. I always said that I wanted to be one of those hippie chicks that played at coffee houses or hole in the wall bars at nights ..and sold my art on the sidewalks during the day…the simplistic satisfaction of it is what my heart has secretly wished for forever. I was born in the wrong time.

I have been inspired by so many things. People, animals, nature, movies, music, lyrics, poetry. Some things have literally nearly left me breathless. If you can open yourself up enough to see the beauty in everything that surrounds you. To really truely open your eyes and your heart and feel everything around you. There is so much exquisityly overwhelming striking beauty in places that you very likely would never expect to see it. If you take time out enough to soak it all in.