celestehowell

Ok so I started at 188 Ibs and am now 183 Ibs, which is right on track! I only wanted to lose 1-1.5 Ibs a week so I could easily keep it off. I am taking the Personal Trainer Specialist course this weekend and next weekend I’m taking the Nutrition and Wellness Specialist course as a way to keep interested in fitness even after I’ve lost the weight. I know not many people will want to hire me looking the way I do at the moment, but I am motivated now!
One thing I find very difficult is eating 2000 calories a day, I’m normally only getting 1500 which is not enough. I’m also having issues with eating 250 grams of protein a day, but I can usually manage about 200. I am a shift worker so meals have always been difficult to keep on top of.
Tomorrow I will be taking a before picture and when I hit the 25 ibs lost mark I’ll post the results. I’ll also try to remember to post on mondays my weights and stuff.

I’ve returned from my trip to Lao and I discovered I put on 10 pounds in a country where the people are all very thin. So I decided it’s about time I lose the weight. So a little over a week ago I started going to the gym, and have only not gone 2 times (scheduled days off). Trying to eat more because that is my problem, I usually only eat breakfast and dinner due to shift work. I counted my calories for the week and was averaging about 800/day which is wayyyy too low. I should be getting about 1500 to lose weight. I am 188 pounds now and want to be 145.
I weighed myself today for the first time since I got home and the scale hasnt budged. So I will continue to do what I’m doing and weigh myself weekly, possibly mondays and post it here.

I’m just tired of being tired, of feeling less important, of feeling lonely, of never being able to express whats going on inside me. I need a reason to believe everything will work out fine, but every time I try to and let go I get hurt.
I dont know where to start and I dont know if I can let someone in. I’m trying, and I’m afraid if I take too long or I try too hard, I’ll lose him. The only person who I’ve ever allowed to care about me and not push away. How do you know what to say and when to say it. I’m so afraid that he’ll not want me that I’ll end up pushing him away cause it’s easier for me to hurt myself then to let him do it.