... i’m leaving … FOR GOOD!
charmarba's Life List
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1. own an island
1 entry289 people -
2. become ambidextrous
2 entries956 people -
3. own an ancient artifact
1 person -
4. build a secret garden
1 entry6 people -
5. have sex on the beach
1 entry265 people -
6. Watch the sun rise and set all in the same day
1 entry22 people -
7. look good in a bikini
1 entry565 people -
8. stop throwing clothes on the floor
861 people -
9. go cow tipping
1 entry92 people -
10. jump on my trampoline and swim in my pool naked!
1 person -
11. only eat when I'm hungry
578 people -
12. fall in love again
1,923 people -
13. Find a church where I feel like I belong.
1 person -
14. lose 50 pounds
1 entry2,820 people -
15. be a health nut
6 people -
16. make out with 2 guys in 1 day
1 person -
17. get the hell out of Ohio
1 entry2 people -
18. Find a balance between the things I want to do and the things I need to do
2,383 people -
19. visit all 50 states
8,528 people -
20. be asked for my autograph
1 entry . 3 cheers30 people -
21. Learn Japanese
1 entry10,616 people -
22. Kiss in the rain
2 cheers15,300 people -
23. Play spin the bottle
1 entry556 people -
24. Write and record an album
1 entry273 people -
25. Learn to surf
1 entry . 1 cheer8,068 people -
26. learn to paint
1,283 people -
27. meet my soulmate
696 people -
28. graduate from college
6,383 people -
29. lead someone to Christ
270 people -
30. Read all of Shakespeare's plays
147 people -
31. go to a drive in movie
183 people -
32. be in a broadway musical
96 people -
33. Shower in a waterfall.
492 people -
34. Visit every country in the world
415 people -
35. get in shape
10,217 people -
36. be a sexy nurse!!!
2 people
i got really intimate with a teacher friend of mine after i graduated and he was no longer my teacher. he was young, handsome, and a very kind person. it was really fun at the time because i had developed a close relationship/friendship with him and i honestly felt that i loved him. it was my dream come true… and i never thought it would actually happen until it did. there was a real connection there and i don’t know if he loved me too, but i like to think he did. but either way, he was too afraid of sacrificing his reputation for me. he ended up breaking my heart by dating another girl and marrying her a couple months after he ended things with me. they moved very quickly with the whole thing. and the worst part… he was still in contact with me. we talked on the phone almost everyday and he never had the guts to tell me they were getting married, even though he knew that i considered him a best friend.
i had invested a lot of my heart into him and it was a dream i was ready to give up, but then he came along and gave me hope. then he crushed me again. it was the deepest pain i’ve ever felt… and i still feel it from time to time, even though these things happened a long time ago.
for a lot of you, it seems like a fun little fantasy, but for me it was real… and it wasn’t real in the sense that it really happened, but that it was real just like falling in love with anybody else. only with him it felt 100 times more shitty when it ended, because i knew that most or all of the reason it couldn’t last was the circumstances under which we met.
so don’t get your hearts tangled in a mess like this, girls. i’m not saying that i regret it, but it’s a hard fall to recover from.
i did this before and i was not a certified teacher. there are schools out there that desperately need help and they will hire uncertified teachers as long as they come through an organization that they trust.
and i don’t think it matters for you to be absolutely sure as to why you are going to teach in the mission field. if you feel like God is calling you, then you go! you don’t ask questions question if you should really do it or not. the only thing you need to ask yourself is “do i feel that God is calling me?” if so, then you should go… even if you are not sure how prepared you are spiritually. God will work that out in you. sometimes, people actually end up finding a truer, more clear picture of who God is while they are in the mission field. sometimes, they find exactly what they expected. but regardless, it is always a life-changing experience. and if you are there for the right reasons, you will always reach someone for Jesus.
