Well this is something that I will continue to work on because you can always be a better person and there is always someone who needs another friend or even one friend. This world can be such a lonely place. But I do beleive that I am becoming a better friend since I have evaluated the way that I look at alot of situations and have seen that I have many amazing people in my life that help in so many differnent situations and I’m trying to be that person that people know they can depend on and I beleive that I’m getting to that point. I’ve been evaluating the people that took me for granted and that used me. Not that I think they used me on purpose but I needed to deciffer how I felt about these people and now they are not such a major impact in my life and its making my life much better and alot more fun to live.
I don’t think this is something that will ever stop or that I will be able to stop doing as life goes on because people and thing’s continue to change, including myself. Right now though, I do feel that I am comfortable with what does make me happy and I realize many thing’s that I have to be thankful for and thing’s that I take for granted everyday that I need to realize won’t be there forever and that I need to enjoy them as I have them.
Well I was deff. afraid of this relationship. Lamont is actually everything I have asked for. He’s gorgous, we don’t argue, and he is just so much fun. He makes me laugh all the time and I always want to be with him. When I’m with him all I really want to do is just look at him and smile.
I’m not saying he’s absolutely perfect and that our relationship is either but actually it’s pretty close. It’s just been a challange for me to make and keep a commitment and now I feel like I’m ready and I want to be with him.
This has been a dreamn of mine ever since my brother was asked to sing dring the intermission of the beauty pageant around seven years ago.
I have been successful in many other Beauty Pageants but with my brother singing at this one and it being my very first beauty pageant that I had ever been to, this one has sentimental meaning to me.
Real love is something that I have struggled with my entire life. I’ve came from a pretty decent family don’t get me wrong, but when has came down to being loved..I’m not sure if I really feel this from my family or do I feel manditory Love?
I always hear these stories about how I was the cutiest, sweetiest little girl that had the biggest dreams in the world that no one was going to be able to stop but now I find myself questioning why I’m being told all of these stories and where that little girl went.
When I look back on my early childhood I actually find it really hard to rememeber any of it. I do remember but than again I find myself trying to keep my past a blur. It feels comfortable and easier not to recall something that I feel didn’t happen than to face the pain and the hurt that comes from my life which bring’s me to my point of not knowing what type of love that I feel.
I’ve been raised right. I have morals, dreams, asperations, manners, and all the thing’s that it takes to make wonderful friend’s and memories for people to remember me by but all along all I’ve ever been searching for is love. Real love.
Real love is something that I feel that I only received from my Grandmother and when she passed away when I was in the fifth grade, I havn’t really gotten over it nor felt the same on the inside.
I feel that the “love” of my family was a hoax. They now want nothing to do with me. Not because of me being a terrible person or doing something horrible, but for wanting something more. I don’t want to settle for average. I’ve always wanted something more than what I have had, still always being grateful for what I have had, I just feel like there is so much more out there. So much more that I could be accomplishing but no one to hold on to me. No one to stand next to me to tell me to keep going, to push me farther and to tell me not to worry for everything that I need is already there.
Maybe I feel this void because of the forever lingering of never fitting in with “my own”. I mean never fitting in with your family mentally, physically, or even the strength of a soul connection. I’ve never had this connection with the people that I’ve needed it from the most which makes me feel so empty.
So unloved. Feeling’s are so hard for me to express to other people because of the lack of comfotablilty with in my own soul.
Kudos to the girl who wrote this..
Inner Peace is illusive and often lost in chaos or moments of change, tragedy or confusion but I realize that in these moments, it is supposed to be lost. It is the seeking to find it again that brings us growth and eventually back to a balance. I feel that I have faced demons in this life, and looked at them and spoken with them. It is unrealistic to expect them to go away, or perhaps just unhealthy to expect such things. After all, it is the repression of them that got me all confused in the first place. No one lives a perfect life, our imperfections and our strength in overcoming them is what makes us uniquely beautiful.
Well this surely isn’t mine but I would have to say this is one the best ways that I have ever heard of someone expressing Inner Peace.
For me, my inner demons seem to always conquer my inner peace. Though I try to always think positivly of my life and everything that I have been givin, I think that “seeing the light at the end of the tunnel” isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Actually, I beleive its one of the hardest struggles in life.
Though I don’t know if I will ever accomplish this goal, I put it first because I beleive if I can find peace with in myself than I will be able to accomplish goals and see my “path in life” more clearly.