citir

the worst decision i have been taken by the force of my mom was redye my hair to the dark brown

i have been always a blonde and lightened my hair in my high school times to a really light blonde
i have never been feel prettier or cutier than ever
now i stuck with this head full of hair which i cant even look at mirrors

i hate my mom did i evet tell you

how could someone realize that she is actually mentally ill
basically sick seriously very sick , the most sick person on earth

this machine in my head doesnt work properly my friend i tell you

in school applications or work applications they always ask for any disease do you have or any medical condition do you have , and the answer is clearly no ,not at all ,never had .. but the truth is suicidal but never going to attend it , suffering from heavy depression but refuse to get treatment , addicted to alcohol and drugs but never get hurt or to hurt someone else etc..

sounds like potential criminal doesnt it
i read that article about a writer , she sad i suffered from love whole my life , i cant imagine not being in love and actually being loved.

she actually described my life but i dont even have any talent or ability to express myself

cant believe i couldnt sleep because of my heartbeats
its getting more exciting every second after i signed this form to go to england. i really dont know actually what is going to happen now because it was my excuse to get away these people who makes me suffer first but now the place im running is full of other people whom they hurt me most. the weird thing is i knew this from the beginning and my so called get away trip wasnt actually get away and honestly i dont expect anything from them but why my heartbeats doesnt let me sleep
how complicated could it be? besides nobody knows that im leaving from here and nobody knows that im going there , it is impossible to run people accidentally in the street

god i wish i could understand what s really happening in my mind
could someone please get inside my brain and tell me whats going on?

alex turner though have a piece of something overthere (in my mind)out of nowhere, i started to fantasizing about him .

i think we are going to meet somewhere in london maybe in an irish pub and then inevitably love at first side
and later on i started to study music business because being manager of alex requires some acknowledge of course basically im a pro so we end up like sharon and ozzy osbourne haha