Deliberately self deprecating

I cannot believe I live in Las Vegas now. I never thought I would be brave enough to move so far away. I am happy with the change.

I have season season two, three and four. I am a MASH junky. “Will someone please turn down the war?”—Pierce

I don’t really want an eating disorder. I have never been good at skipping meals or starving myself for that matter. I just want to stop overeating. I just wish I knew how Anas do it. I have struggled with my weight since adolescence. I have tried diet pills, and fad diets. But the fat is just here to stay. When I was a teenager, I never imagined weighing over 200 lbs. I am 65 lbs. overweight.
When I was a kid, I watched a talk show about an 800 lbs. woman who could not get out of her bed. She totally disgusted me. I just could not understand how anyone could let themselves get so obese. Well I have to say that is quite easy to let it happen because I let it happen to me. I just hate myself.

I have been offered a job to teach in Las Vegas. I accept!!!!! I move this August.

Well I woke up at 5:30am to take the praxis. By now I was familiar with the routine since this is my fucking third time. I was very annoyed by the whole situation and I avoided talking to anyone. I saw one woman meditating. I thought that was a pretty good idea. I just wanted to empty my mind of all distractions. The test was hard as usual and I found myself guessing on quite a few questions. I just hope this was the last fucking time I have to take this exam. I will know in four weeks if I Passed.

This Saturday, April 28, 2007 will be my third time taking the English Language Literature and Composition exam. I will have two hours to answer 120 questions. That means I only have about one minute per question. This does not include the passages I have to read in order to answer the questions. I don’t think that this exam is a good way to measure my intelligence. I have a bachelors degree in English. I think that is enough.
I am so angry that I have to pay to take this exam again. My confidence is shaken and I am feeling a lot of self-doubt.

I am 26 years old and currently weigh 220 lbs. I have always struggled with my weight. In High School, I weighed 150 lbs. At the time I thought I was so fat. The funny thing is that I wish I weighed 150 lbs. again. I would give anything to be that thin. I have not weighed under 200 lbs. in almost 7 years. Losing weight has been a constant battle with me. I know what the right thing is which is a proper diet and exercise. That sound easy enough but I just don’t have any self control when it comes to food.