guys, i was so pleased with myself just a couple weeks ago. i got down to my lowest weight EVER. 108.8lbs. i was so impressed. and now, i’m 114. thanks to the holidays. i’m going to need some crazy motivation. :( i looked FANTASTIC at 108.8lbs. why did i have to go and ruin it for myself?
okay. i woke up this morning and weighed myself. 113.6 lbs. kill. me. now. after i lose 5 lbs, i’ll be 108.6 lbs. what a pretty number. i can totally do this. wish me luck.
the numbers just keep going down! i’m so happy! but i’m not yet quite satisfied. i’ve still got that gosh-darned belly pouch. :(
I’VE HIT 111.6lbs! i’m so happy! i’ve NEVER hit 111.6 before! my lowest was 113.2, i believe. i’m only 1.6lbs from 110! YAY! I’M SO PROUD OF MYSELF!
for the girls…..does our weight get skewed around that time of the month?
i now have 4 students! it’s so exciting! i get to combine my love for the piano and love for kids! i teach beginner piano and my students range from 4 – 9 years old. it’s so much fun!
i made a scrapbook for my asshole ex-boyfriend who moved away two months ago. so technically, this goal has already been completed. but since i had so much fun making the scrapbook, i’ve decided to make another one. this time, the theme is family. i’ve already finished two pages. profiles of my mom and dad. it’s quite lovely. i’ll post pictures when i have time. meanwhile, here’s a picture of a page from the scrapbook i gave my asshole ex-boyfriend.
it’s over. i haven’t heard from him in a month and a half. i’m calling it quits. i’m sorry, guys. i wish i could be more inspiration but i can’t. it’s emotionally draining and i’m sick of waiting. clearly, he’s left me behind. he hasn’t checked my e-mails or called me. i miss him. i really do. we had something really special. but it’s over. i don’t hafta take this crap from anyone because i deserve better. but i wish you guys all the best of luck with your long distance relationships. :)
4 more days and it’ll mark one month since he’s been gone. he’s been on my mind every single day for the past month. i haven’t heard from him since his move. i don’t even know what’s going on.
his absence is really getting to my head now. no way would i have two dreams (one night after the other) that have to do with him leaving me. i woke up so scared. i wanted to cry but i couldn’t. i wanted to scream but i couldn’t. i just wanted to hear his voice…....but i couldn’t.
here’s my dream:
i was in the kitchen talking to my mom when i looked out the window. i saw him wearing his black zip-up hoodie running down the street towards my house. he was pulling a suitcase behind him. he arrived at my house and i let him in. he didn’t say much so i figured something must’ve happened with his parents or maybe he had family issues and he needed to stay with me for a bit. so i brought him into the guest room and he brought his suitcase. when we got into the guest room, he looked at me and i knew something was wrong. i looked at the suitcase and asked, ‘what’s in there?’ he didn’t answer me and he turned around and tried to leave but i grabbed his arm and asked impatiently, ‘what’s in there?!’ then he just turned around and walked out the door. it was then that i knew exactly what was in the suitcase. it was everything that i had given him while he was here. gifts. special ones.
i can’t take this anymore. are these dreams just my subconscious mind telling me to end it with him?! i’m driving myself to insanity.
i finished my scrapbook about a month ago and gave it to my boyfriend. i’m just posting a pic of a page i made. it was my very first scrapbooking project and i was extremely dedicated to it because i had to get it done before my boyfriend moved away. it was my gift to him.
i have really weird dreams but this one left me feeling absolutely terrible. here goes…
in my dream, msn had a new feature where your display picture could be a short animation or like, a short movie. well, his display pictures/animation/movie was a short clip of his party. he was sitting in his living room with a bunch of friends, wearing that red t-shirt that i know all too well. suddenly, the blonde girl sitting across from him kisses him and initially, he kisses her back but then he pulls away (kinda like he’s shocked). then he smiles at the girl and keeps moving back away from her. the smile that i know all too well too. his teasing smile that says ‘come get me. cuz i know you want more.’
i know it sounds really childish and stupid. but i woke up as soon as that was over. like it was a terrible nightmare. i’m so upset. i miss him so much. i don’t know if he misses me like i miss him. i haven’t tried calling him because i don’t have his new number. i haven’t tried e-mailing him because he might not have internet access yet. i can’t send him a letter because i don’t know his new address. i hate this. i can’t concentrate. i can’t focus. i’m absolutely and entirely consumed by him.
oh my. school started today. and everytime i heard his name being called and knowing he was 600 miles away took a good stab at my heart. it’s almost been a month and i still haven’t heard from him. one side of me is telling me to end it. just get on with life and leave him behind. another side of me is telling me to stay strong because in the end, it just might be worth it. i don’t know what to do, guys. i’m so torn.
Today, august 30, would mark our 5 month anniversary. But the problem is, I don’t even know if we’re together anymore. I haven’t heard from him in 2 and a half weeks now. I miss him like crazy and I can’t stop thinking about him. Everything somehow reminds me of him. I’m just getting really depressed. I don’t know if I can take this anymore. :(
i’ve been playing piano for 12 years. i’m currently 16 and i started when i was 4. i’m currently studying at the Grade 10 level for RCM. i can’t wait till i finish Grade 10!
i woke up crying today because i missed him so much but things are getting easier. i’m gonna stay strong and suck it up.
i saw him for the last time today. he’s moving tomorrow. i’m trying to see the silver lining in all this but it’s so hard. i’m just in so much pain right now. i don’t know what to do, guys. it hurts so bad. it really really really hurts. i care so much about him and i just don’t know what i’m going to do.
