corl78

Took a small trip to Chicago in August. Did alot of fun things. Lincoln Park Zoo, Shedd Aquarium, a White Sox game, and a Paramore concert. We took the train up. I think it did Chris and I alot of good. We have had a few fights since getting back, and bad ones, but alot of the small stupid ones are gone.

When Shannon was here we went to Indiana to the race. Had a blast. Not at the race, just spending time with her.

She was here and we had a great time together. And the best part is she is moving closer to me in 3 weeks. She met a guy who live about 3 1/2 hours away from me, so she is moving to be with him. She said she feels so much better about doing this because I am close to her. We have already started making plans to do things on weekends and are planning a trip to Chicago next year.

I’m working on this one, but I have to decide do I want to totally change my life and hope that I am happier, or wait and see if things get better with him. I don’t know if they will, everytime they seem to be going good, something happens to send me way back. Maybe it’s that I know what I want to do and can’t bring myself to do it. I know I love him, I do, he means the world to me, but is he enough? Will someone else make me happier or am I just meant to be in a so-so love?
I have never felt the intense love for someone at the same time the fell it for me and it feels like I am missing out. I have been the one that has loved more and the one that has been loved more, and if I have to settle for one I would rather we the one who is loved more. But shouldn’t it be equal? Isn’t that what love is about? But I have been with him for so long I don’t want to walk away for a maybe, I want to know that it’s going to be real. I just hope I get the answers that I need soon. I don’t know how much longer I can continue feeling like this.