cuspofqueens

So I’ve managed to get rid of four store credit cards over the last four months (yay!)—that was the little debt.

NOW, I have three major credit cards, a student loan, money I owe the IRS, and my car payment to pay off. This will not be easy, as the smallest thing I owe is like $1500. chokes

I’m making enough to pay these all off within the next two years, I just need to figure out how to stop spending first. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? Except for, you know, there are the days when you don’t want to cook for just one person, and there are expenses in getting to work (I work 75 mi away from home - yes, I plan on moving as soon as my lease is up), and there’s that dreaded Starbucks; I can drop $10 there easy in one thirty minute trip, and I love to go there daily - girl’s got no life and its where I can journal and watch the world go by. Unfortunately, it’s also killing my budget.

le sigh

Well, a little at a time, right? I’m throwing all my extra/available money towards the highest interest credit card, and hopefully that will be gone soon, so I can really focus on the other two and the rest of everything else.

Wish me luck!

Sunday, July 14 I weighed 177.6 lbs.

Sunday, July 21 I weighed 174.4 lbs.

It’s not much, but it IS progress. That week was all about learning to eat more regularly, with foods that were healthy for me.

Some things I’ve done: Cut out the majority of foods with the words ‘High Fructose Corn Syrup’ in them. HFCS = evil. Did the research and decided I didn’t want that in my body.

I’ve cut out things with rediculously high sodium contents as well, and have started cooking more with oregano and rosemary and sage than just plain salt and pepper. My food tastes better and it’s healthier for me.

I’m eating every couple of hours—and it’s amazing how fast my body adapted to that one thing. I’ll go three hours in the afternoon and get hunger pangs because I haven’t snacked on anything. Usually my snacks will be some cut up watermelon or turkey and cheddar cheese on triscuits.

I’m bumping up my water intake again, which is also helpful for when I work, because nobody likes it when I’m a crabby not-nice person. beams

I have also (and most excitingly for me) in the last three days gone to the gym! dances It’s not a big deal for anybody else, but I feel like excercising at the gym is something I could make another astonishingly quick habit of. It gets me out of the house and it’s relatively enjoyable to jump on an elliptical machine and ‘run’ to AC/DC. I’m looking around at gyms that are in the area, and the closest one is about a fifteen minute drive from my home, but that’s okay. I’m looking at classes and things and trying them out and seeing what I like or where I’ll go—only because a)my happy self is poor, and b) I need to know that I”ll actually go.

But I’ve done the elliptical machine thingy 3 days in a row now, and I’m really proud of myself! I started with 15 minutes and 1.75 mi the first day, and I was huffing and puffing towards the end, and then I did 30 minutes and 2 mi the second day and 40 minutes and 3 miles the third. Its amazing how fast my body is acclimating to it, I almost didn’t go yesterday but I felt stiff and sore (Like I hadn’t worked out) towards the end of the day so I went anyway.

I think this is really just a couple of signs that yes, I was supposed to do it this way, now, rather than last year or next year or whenever.

Maybe it’s divine affirmation. Or maybe I really am as crazy as people keep telling me and all this success is in my head. Either way, I’ll take it!

So I’m 5’1’’, and I weigh 180lbs. At 21, this is officially the most I’ve ever weighed—and if your health and weight only decline as you get older, I’m screwed!

So here’s the goal.

In six months, I’d like to weigh in at 120lbs, OR have a 23% BMI; whichever comes first. Because of my heritage and my build, I’m not entirely convinced I can reasonably weigh 120lbs. But I would like to be in a healthy range for me.

Why? Good question.

My father’s side of the family has a history of adult-onset diabetes, and my mother’s side of the family has a history of heart disease and obesity.

Last year at our family picture, I was the fattest one of the four of us.

I have a double chin.

I’m not confident in my appearance or my bearing, and I would like to be.

Dammit, the clothes! I want clothes that fit! Cute ones, even!

And also, because I refuse to be that girl. The one with the kickass personality, but it’s sad about her __. No wonder she can’t find a partner.

You know the girl that everyone stops and stares at when she walks into the room? The attractive one with the magnetic, shinging personality and happy smile? I want to be her. I want my looks to match my personality.

So I bought myself a couple of excercise videos and I’m a starving artist, so that should help the lack of junk food in the house. I’ll start here, and see what happens.

Wish me luck!