I'm doing 37 things
I can’t seem to stop doing things that I know I shouldn’t. It’s like I have the thought, “that’s not a good idea” for a split second, then I go ahead and do it anyway. It makes absolutely no sense because the outcome is the same every time – immediate regret. It’s everything from being a clutz and dropping something multiple times, to doing something that could hurt relationships with people around me. It sometimes ends up costing me money. Sometimes it is something very small and I just say to myself, “that was stupid” but sometimes it is a bigger issue. I feel like one day it will cost me a job opportunity, or get me into some kind of serious trouble. I even think maybe I should never have kids.
I’m not blaming my mother, but I noticed she has always had a knack for hurting many things near her. Could this be some sort of inherited mental condition? Is the filter in my brain just malfunctioning? Am I just too careless?
Also, this bad habit causes me to feel a lot of daily guilt. Most of the time I have to convince myself that mistakes just happen, and I try to move on.
