dallas_tati

My goal is the be a RD specializing in Weight loss. This is largely due to my friends and family being overweight. I had always been the thin and athletic one. My best friend says she would have listened to the RD she was seeing if she had looked healthy and not too thin.

I decided to gain weight. It has taken me two pregnancies and 3 yrs to put on 30 lbs. I started last week to lose the wieght. The thing I hate the most is the belly fat I have accumulated. Everyone says I carry my weight well but I don’t feel comfortable anymore.

I have started jogging/walking for 30 min a day and doing ab workouts every morning. Also I’m on a low-fat sensible 2000 calorie diet. Fast food is a hard habit to break. I crave those fast foods and Starbucks.

Ok I’m not ready to face the embarrasing action of going for help in person, so maybe admiting it online might help. I have been doing this distructive habit for as long as I can remember maybe as early as 7 yrs old. I think it might have started with watching my sister fix her cuticles and I caught on to it but taking it to another level. At times I feel psychotic for doing it. I sometimes get a high off getting a big chuck off my finger but at the same time know how painful and embarrasing its going to look and feel. I want to stop while I’m doing it but that high is there too. It’s a painful stuggle. I promise I will never do it again or at least not as severe. But for those of you that know what im going through understand that it just happens again and the promise is broken. Reading others entrys about the subject and their experiences I get this funny laughter but more like happiness that I’m not alone and I can totally relate what they are going through.
Today I have one band-aid on my right little finger. I think maybe fixing one at a time might help. I try to keep my other hands busy but its no use. I fight back the urge to bit and pick away at them. I try lotion to keep them moist but at times they feel easier to pick at when lotion is on them.
Well I have to get going I’m also trying to get back into shape.