dancinglikewater

So, I don’t know how I managed it, but Jack Sparrow has turned out deformed. He was too fat, and as a result of my trying to fix this, he is too skinny and any clothes I have tried making for him have turned out to fit improperly. Badly made plushies look like alien bobble heads, and not at all appealing.
I dislike doing things over again if they haven’t been successful. Therefore, I am not trying to complete Jack again.

I may try to make a Folken [Escaflowne] plushie, but I don’t think I’ll do that any time soon.

I must, must, must start eating vegetables [And not starches/tomatoes. Real ones.]. I avoid them all the time, and I don’t think about it. But it occured to me today how little I eat them, and how bad the consequences will be in later years if I don’t start eating them.

Vegetables stall mental decline, and I don’t want to be an idiot. I really don’t want demensia or alzheimers. So I have to start eating them.

I figure that if I think about which ones I either like or tolerate, and actually make an effort to eat them every day, then I’ll be able to do it.

So far, I’ve thought of:

Waterchesnuts
Raw Spinach/Salad
Corn [Which is not all that great, and there’s so much corn in everything anyway.]
Raw carrots
Cucumbers
Steamed broccoli

I’m not a big fan of vegetables, as you might tell by the length of the list. And in my experience, fresh things tend to go bad. So I always assume that all bagged vegetables are probably rotted, and then I don’t eat them. I need to stop that, though. MUST HAVE VEGGIES!

We usually have spinach in the fridge, so I suppose I should start eating some in the morning instead of cereal. I’ll start tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll go downstairs tonight and have some. It’s a bit late, but if I start tomorrow I may forget.

I realize that I most likely babble and prattle all the time because it has been the most accessible way to be sociable. [The other ways being to try to be a comedian, and then to try to be the wise man with all the metaphors.] But it has gotten ridiculous, and it is to the point of annoying me now. [And also making me feel guilty.]

I have to try to get back to being introspective, and if anyone has any tips for this, I’d really love the help. What I plan to do is this:

-Stop asking questions about stuff I already know about just to make conversation
-Remember that wikipedia exists and that my friends are not wikipedia.
-Spend more time reading and less time avoiding it by going to find people to talk to or watching TV
-Stop keeping as many noisy things on as I can to distract myself.
-Be more introspective. If I don’t take the time out to actually think and ponder things, how could I possibly have anything interesting to talk about? It gets to the point where you’re not really saying anything, even though some of what you say can be hilarious.
-Stop clinging to other people
-Stop taking on other people’s issues and activities as my own
-Quit being so defensive about this kind of stuff and trying to be apologetic as to why I do it. I need to stop and that’s all there is to it.
-STOP showing people everything I make to ask their opinion if there’s no real reason for it. Unless I’m trying to gauge people’s opinion to try and make a decision, or if I think they know more about what craft I am practicing than I do and wish to know if I’ve done it right.
-Be 21 more often than being 12 years old. [As far as public behavior goes. There’s no reason to give up my obsession with seeing every single bad CGI Barbie movie, as long as I take responsibility for myself and my actions.]

It is difficult to even fathom changing behaviors that are so ingrained and which we are so used to exhibiting. But if they are bad behaviors, they have to go. So, my first step is done. I’ve thought about it. My second step, seriously considering it, is now done. My third step, coming up with actual ways to fix the problem, is partially done. This list of things is somewhat hypothetical and more an admittance that I am both doing something wrong and am also serious about fixing it. On another level, it is an apologetic, “Please forgive my immature, insensitive ass because I really do want to change.” I think that’s forgiveable, though, because I do intend to change.

So, here is to hopefully being a better, less airheaded person.