dealingwith

Wow reading entries about this goal from 2 years ago is a somewhat odd feeling. Life has changed so much in those 2 years and I am most definitely more happy. So happy most days that my brain doesn’t even understand how it can be so happy. So am I “wired” for happy? I don’t know. I know I think a lot differently than I did when I created this goal. But I know this is a very open-ended goal. Do I still do stupid things and get angry and grumpy? Sure. But I feel like overall I am consistently making the right decisions. This goal was about a certain kind of emotional behavior that was either inhibiting my success or downright destructive. That “emotional behavior” (I just made that phrase up, by the way) is no longer.

I wrote an entry about this but it required a video object embed so it’s over here

Getting happy something I’m also doing well on, helps with this one. Just yesterday I had the thought, “I used to have this real reputation for being an asshole. I just don’t feel that anymore.” What’s funny is I then had to re-assess my commitment to Sparkle Motion but I remembered this post where I’m all, “I care about art too much,” which out of context is just hilarious. All that to say, seems like in my experience it seemed that being an asshole is was required to be a doer. Now, in a nice convergence of happy, content, immediate, and secure, I have more peace about whatever is to come. I’m in a bit of a restructuring phase, doing a lot of planning, but when the time comes there will be lots of winning without having to plow anyone over on the way. So there.