Scared myself one day when I KIND OF felt sad, but couldn’t cry. It was soooo bizarre. I knew I couldn’t continue being such a zombie – it wasn’t ME.
It took me realising that God had had a few opportunities to take me, but didn’t… so if he chose for me to stick around, who was I to make that choice???? I decided that I was obviously meant for bigger things, and that there was a reason I was here – I just needed to find it.
I still don’t know the whole of that reason, but my beautiful son, and the one in my belly (due in June), are definitely part of it!!!
I’ve had down days, and PND was a bit of a worry (didn’t happen tho – yay!) when my son was born 19 months ago, but I’ve been off my meds for almost 10 years now, and it CAN be done naturally!
And this was after my FIRST SUICIDAL THOUGHT at around age 3… I had a fight with my mom and I though that “mummy and daddy would be so much happier without me”... HONESTLY, if I can do it… ANYONE can!!! A lifetime of those thoughts is overwhelming, but it can be defeated!!!!
this how i did it, once I made my choice to stop being a zombie…
- correct diet & supplements to get my internal systems functioning correctly,
- counselling for the grief i felt over EVERYTHING in my life,
- faith in my life purpose,
- exercise to get endorphins going (started belly dancing!)
- reminding myself DAILY of all those things i had a hard time seeing that i could be grateful for (they’re there, i had just hidden them)
I’m sure there are so many other things that I did that helped… but I can’t think of them right now. It’s 12.30am, and I should be in bed, but my unborn child is kicking the crap out of my uterus. ;)
Good luck to ALL of you… you CAN DO IT, and you are WORTH THE EFFORT.