I feel like I’ve made progress with this one, too.
The last guy that I dated made me feel truly beautiful, loved, and accepted (sometimes). Of course, it didn’t work out, but that feeling hasn’t gone away.
With him, he appreciated everything that I considered a “flaw” with my body. It made me think that even though I wasn’t and would never be traditionally beautiful, I was still pretty in my own way.
That outlook gives me hope for the future, because I hope that although not everyone will appreciate me the way he did, there’s got to be at least a few other people and other guys who will.
I was friends with this one group of people for 4 years. That’s a lot for a highschool girl. Some of them I’d known for even longer. We definitely had our differences, but ultimately I was so comforable around them that they felt like family.
But then I dated one of them, my best guy friend, and after that all my friendships more or less went downhill. I don’t really know how it happened, but recently, after we broke up, I was sort of officially “outed” from the group. Very cliquey, I know.
Maybe I could get back “in” if I tried, and I hope that I can still remain pleasant acquaintances with them, but I think that it’s time for me to move on.
I think that as my confidence increases, so does my optimism. In the last two weeks I’ve faced a painful breakup and I’ve lost most of my friends, but somehow I’m not that depressed over it. Obviously it’s still upsetting, but not to a point where I can’t continue to live my life and enjoy other things.
Lately my main goal is simply to just be happy. Sounds pretty basic, but it wasn’t always like that. I would be so convinced that nothing would ever get better that I would waste time thinking about the past and just wanting things to go back to the way they were.
Now, I feel like I’m a lot more open to change, even though it’s still hard for me. I just hope it stays this way! Then maybe I can finally check off this goal.