diylobotomy

i’m so excited to do this. i’m getting “so it goes” on the inside of my wrist within the next month. i want to always remember my own mortality, but also that everything is eternal and cyclical. there will always be bad, but there will always be good too.

i’ve been on weight watchers coming up on a year now, and i’ve lost fifty pounds. but between november and february i gained some weight back, and i’m mad at myself over it. i want to do this to be healthy, not to fit a certain size or anything. it’s really hard—i have no self-control, i love to eat, and i love to eat really terribly un-healthy foods. but i have to see this spring as a fresh start, and forget about the weight i gained in the winter. it’s not going to change how i feel about myself now. if i don’t gain a little self-confidence, i won’t be able to complete this process.

there is so much beauty in the world, and even when it overwhelms me and i physically ache from it, i never actively try to add beauty to it myself, for anyone else to see anyway. this seems important to me, and it’s something i am going to do.