doble.aire

I even have recorded notes. But I haven’t given myself the time to actually sit down and write them on the computer so I post them. I need to focus.

...that pays me well in order to become economically stable. If I can talk about utopia, it would be a job that pays me enough to even save some money for the future; that has a regular schedule so I don’t have to work late a lot of days or modify my eating habits (it’s so important for my health); that is creative and makes me meet interesting people; that has comprehensive bosses that are more human than heartless machines; that makes me happy.

I’d love to work as a:
- waitress in a coffee shop, morning time preferrable.
- radio station presentator.
- salesperson at a library, getting to organize books
- copywriter/editor for an art/tendencies magazine, journal, virtual media, or a publishing house.
- researcher on sociology, politics or communication areas, or for exhibitions and/or cultural events.

I just found out I’ve always had bad issues at work since I first started my professional life.

This is a long story.

1. 1st boss: the sexual psycho, fraud maker and workaholic: My 1st ex-boss committed sexual harrassment against me, paid me a few money for a fulltime job, he demanded so much from me I even got sick, he fired me and didn’t pay me the money he owed me. He was even having dirty business with the company’s money, and I didn’t say a word.

2. 2nd exboss: the inventor-gossip lover: He used to tell me the company’s director didn’t like me, which made my life at the office quite hard. I didn’t say anything. I left the job because I was moving, and I stayed because it payed more or less good and I needed to save the more money I could. But at the end, I found out I felt so uncomfortable at my job because of my ex-boss’ lies.

3. Third boss, the radio station director: bad mood, but nothing really bad happened. He even told me I had the doors open if I wanted to come back. He was a really not respectful to my other workmates, but not to me. So I guess this one saves me.

4. Fourth boss: the mix of all of the above: He lied to me saying the legalization of the company (another radio station where I was working as a politics analyst) was in process so my contract was going to be delayed. I had to go from Spain to MExico to make some legal moves for changing my visa from student to worker. I bought a 800€ ticket to MExico. One day before I had to go to Spain’s government office, having already bought the ticket, his wife told me he wouldn’t make the contract for me. I spent 800€ for nothing. Moreover, he didnt pay the last month and a half I worked for him, and neither did he pay the vacations time. So he still owes me more than 2000€ and he doesn’t want to pay them. He even wanted me (and more of his ex-workers to whom he owes too) to sign a paper in which we affirmed that we never worked for him in order to receive our payment. Is he a complete asshole or what?

5. Fifth case: My ambitious ex-partner: Me and a friend had an idea of a business, so we invited anothe friend, Carmen, who was also creative, a hard-worker and unemployed to join. We started a company designed to fullfill our job wishes in order not to have more fucked experiences with bosses and companies. So we started to work. Eight months later, we get swindled by her. She registered everything under her name behind my back and fired me. She now wants me to pay a third part of the company’s debt with the bank, but I can no longer be in the project even though it was mine. So she took everything but she wanted me to pay her debt. Can she be more cynical?!

So, at the moment I’m following two legal processes:
- One against Carmen Fernández for the Ya·Lo·Hago·Yo company case. We are not suing her, we just want her to assume the complete debt and leave me my computer (she wants to take it away from me! can you imagine? my computer, my worktool, the one that helps me work and live). She was my friend, so I don’t want to go to judgment. But I’m tired of being Ms Nice, you know? She left me with no money, no job, in a country different than mine… C’mon! She was my “friend”!

- The other is against the second radio station owner and director, for they owe me money.

I hate lawyer’s stuff, but I think I have to defend myself. It’s such a bad experience. And I wanted to write all these because today, yes, today, I had a revelation moment in which I made the balance of my worklife, and bosses keep on abusing me. And it’s said that abuse exists as long as you let it happen. So I’m tired. I swear I’ve never had bad intentions to anyone. I love working and feeling useful. It fullfills me. That’s why I have a hard time asking for my payments (never asked for a raise! that’s my nightmare), saying no to tasks that I shouldn’t do and that are not going to be paid or even thanked, or demanding respect to my person and my work.

I think I have issues. Maybe even psychological. I’ve been repeating bad experiences until I reached the bottom of them: having a bad experience in my own company being my own boss!!! I reached the final part.

So… this long post is about why does this 43things-goal exist for me. Because, as you reader can see now, I need to give my work a value, and respect as I want other people to respect it. If I never get to respect my own job, things will keep on happening.

It’s time for a real change in this area. I think the real proof will be when I start working in a new job and start dealing concsiously with all these work problems that always pass. But I think what has to be different is my approach to them.