dontplaywithyourfood

I’m trying to save $1000 so I can buy myself a MacBook. I have an old makeup bag I’m keeping all my money in. By my birthday in October I’ll take any of the coins I’ve saved to a coinstar, and then start saving again. I get $40 every other week from my Dad. Hopefully by Christmas I can save $1000, or close to it.

I’m very very scared of dying. So scared that I have panic attacks because of it. I’m only sixteen, and recently this thought has been controlling my life. I believe in God, and I have asked him recently to give me a fresh start. I’ve talked to my Mom about it, and she said that when I’m old, and 90, I will be ready to die. I’ll be “tired, and old, and ready to go.” And I suppose, that that makes sense. I also think what is going to help me stop being so afraid, is having a family member, or a pet die. As much as I’m going to hate it, and be so upset and heartbroken, I think it will help me come to terms with it. I think what also scares me, is growing up. It scares me so bad to think of myself at 30. I’m not sure why I’m so afraid, and I do believe in my Mother, that when I am old, I will be ready to die. I think what also scares us of death is the fear of the unknown. We all will be afraid of death some time in our lives, as we all will die eventually. I asked my mom if she thought my great grandma was scared of death and she said No, she didn’t think so. Sorry if this is long, I’m trying to help the others who have this fear also by adding in what my Mom said. We all need to just breathe, live, and be happy. Have no regrets. I’m so scared to grow up but I know I have to, and I think as i grow older, I wont be so afraid of death any longer.

God bless you all.
xoxo