Someday…..I’m going to take lessons. I live across the street from a piano teacher for crying out loud. I know a bit of music, but I can’t really read it like I should. I can read music about the same way I can read Spanish. There is a lot of squinting & “uhs” and “ums” going on.
Of course I also want a piano in my home. I want it right here in the living room, in place of where the TV sits. I want the TV to be where the computer desk is & the computer desk to be downstairs. I want the couch where the….ok. Now I am getting carried away. That’s a different goal. But I think I would need a piano at home to really accomplish this goal.
We have a keyboard, but there’s a few things wrong with it. Several of the keys don’t work. The dude at Yamaha suggested that we just get a new one because it cost too much to fix to make it worth our while. I have no idea how the keys got damaged.
My friend KC has challenged me to do 100 miles in 100 days with her. This is totally doable. Yesterday I walked two miles. The day before 1 mile, and the day before that 2 miles.
I have about 6 pounds I’d like to loose, but more importantly, I have been very lazy for the last several months. I want to be more mobile! It is important that I exercise for health & not just because I want to “look good.”
My mother joked about em as a child “always wanting to have parties.” It’s true. I love bringing people together. I love hosting a card party or a movie night. I love bringing people together on social media sites. I love introducing friends to each other.
I wish I could have people over more. I’ve always wanted to host a superbowl party too. Maybe that should be another item on the list.
Problem is, I don’t have the house for it. :( I don’t have a dining area large enough. I think I could pull off a superbowl party though, even though I don’t have a bar downstairs or a fabulous giant flat screen TV.
Jason has no interest in having a superbowl party. What should I do about that?
I started watching the TV show, “Hoarders.” I have examined myself to see if I have these hoarding tendencies. Truth is….I don’t think I do. (I am in denial??) I think I am just lazy. =(
But what scares me is that I think the DH does have hoarding tendencies. I have seen him exhibit the behavior that is portrayed on this show. I have even heard some of the same excuses come out of his mouth. And no I am scared. I don’t think he sees himself as a hoarder. If he does, he has no idea what to do about it and therefore will do nothing. This is his way of dealing with almost every problem.
I am going to stop being so lazy. He has said that he would have an easier time keeping his stuff picked up if I picked up mine. So, I am determined to see if this is true. (I don’t think it is, but we’ll see.)
Seriously. I have examined myself. I get rid of clothes & trinkets & things I’m not using any more. I don’t have any desire to collect a ridiculous amount of things. The only thing I struggle with is mail/papers, which I intend to always read/sort through later. I will devise a plan to tackle this problem.
So far I am not doing very well. I may have to throw out this goal. We shall see.
It’s safe to say that this year I made time for myself finally and did the things I wanted to do! I am happy about completing this goal & I think I found a way to continue to make myself happy!
I feel like a first class fool when I reach out to you & you don’t respond in kind. I have more self respect then that. It’s time for me to pull back if I want to save my sanity.
I have pretty much met this goal… I know how to do Sudoku puzzles for the most part, even if I am afraid to tackle the hard ones!
I think my negative feelings boil down to….... maybe I blame him for everything? Not out loud, but deep down… I think. For example, the reason we are so deep in debt and can’t catch up? Maybe I blame him for getting fired. Maybe I blame him for impulse spending and poor money management. When we were dating, it was he who talked me into my first credit card and then it was he who suggested things to put on the credit card. Later, it was he who told me that if I couldn’t pay the bill that month, it wasn’t a big deal to just pay it next month.
Maybe I blame him for the basement too. We moved all haphazard TWICE, which lead to the basement mess. Then there are the things down there that were his as a kid that have not moved for 15 years. HIS things.
And let’s not forget my neediness. I blame him for my low self esteem because he rarely compliments me and is quick to find fault.
Now I know all this is just silly. No one is to blame but me for my credit problem. I could have said “no” at any time, not just to him but also to myself. I know the basement is just as much my fault. Yes, I tried to pack well, but I really had no experience and since he was no help I gave up. I could have gotten educated about that and asked for my friend’s help.
Lastly, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission sums it up. It would help if he built me up, but his opinion has little to do with who I really am as a person.
So this leads me to wonder… does he secretly blame me too? Does he blame me for not getting a full-time job to help out? Is he convinced that I didn’t pack well for the move(s) and brought too much crap along? Does he blame my up-bringing for my clutter-bug habits? Does he think that if I were just more ____ we would have a better marriage? Does he even know what kind of a marriage we are missing out on?
I want so much to have a marriage like my grandparents. They did so many things together. I saw them work and play together. I watched them hold hands when they watched TV. They had spats, and they also had hobbies separately, but they seemed like such good friends. I wanted that as a little girl watching them, and I still do. Is that possible for me, for us?
So far the only goal I have met is #2, with the exception of one month. I have done #6 fairly consistently with some people, but I have lazy with others.
I am attending a “company” picnic this Saturday. I am going to ask Becki to help me “re-start” my business. It’s pass or fail time. I’ve got to make more money, and if I don’t get this job I applied for here (which I’m thinking I don’t have a shot at) then I need to make this business work. If I can’t make it work (in other words, if I am just too lazy to make it work) this fall, then I should seriously consider not renewing in the spring.
Lately have been reading every night like a good mommy. I have even been doing really good with reading a devotional to the kids. I want to work up from hurried bedtimes to cozy afternoons, but that is so much harder in the summer. I keep thinking of rainy cold days when I think of hours spent reading. We have been taking more trips to the library, and R. has joined their summer reading program. I still can’t seem to ignite her fire though. She reads like a chore to be able to use the computer. The haunting question: Is it my fault for not reading enough or do some people just naturally not like reading??
I think I am doing better at this… I have definitely been more conscience of it. I have been less late for things, and actually ON TIME for others. I will keep working on this, learning when to stop doing something and what needs to be done to leave, how much time that takes, and planning accordingly. I must cast off this reputation!
The basement, the ugly, ugly basement. Filled with crap, scary crap that no one wants to deal with. I keep imagining a clean room, a room with a corn stove and a cozy couch. Another room, a girls bedroom with an aquarium. I place to use the projector, a place to scrapbook…... I know it is possible! All things are possible! What is the problem? Laziness? Procrastination? Time? Lack of resources? A little of everything? Augh! We have been in this house for 10 YEARS (in December)! Why do we still have un-packed boxes from the move? It hangs over me like a dark cloud.
We worked on the garage yesterday and that gives me hope. I garage can be a place to park the car again! It can be a clean place with organized hooks for things! It can be a temporary place to move the things out of the basement that we are ridding our selves of. (Until NuWay comes to get them)I am going to go through 4 boxes this weekend… that is my goal. I am going to take them onto the sunny deck and THROW MOST OF THAT CRAP AWAY. Or recycle it responsibly. :-)
and I didn’t go. Not enough money, not enough motivation. I need to take a hard look at the business this fall and make a decision about where it’s going.
Dear God, what I read in The Shack about how You want to be the center of my life really spoke to me. I want to make You the center. I want to share everything with You, every moment of my life, not just quiet time with You.
Thank You for yesterday. Thank you that we got so much done with the garage. Thank you for sending people to pick up the free junk. Thank you for the friends and fun we were able to enjoy and the beautiful weather. Thank you for the safety for all. You were at the center yesterday, even if some could not see it. Please be my center today. Help me to know your presence and to look for You all around me.
I love you.
Last night I solved my first game in about 30 minutes. I was so proud of myself. :-) I solved two more games today, one in about 40 minutes and the other in 10. Maybe I’m getting the hang of it? I gave up on two games.
Right now I am leading a Wednesday night ladies study and I have committed to usher one Sunday a month. I signed up to help out with sports camp this summer. I would still like to help out at the coffee shop and I have been day dreaming about ladies softball, although I think that may stay in the day dream category for now. I will definitely want to join a small group this fall.
So lately I have been so in a hurry to get the kids in bed that I read a short book or decline reading at all. Last night A. cried about it. I felt like … well, like poop. So, what I need to do is plan that into the bed-time rutien instead of making it last minute.
Starting tonight, I will let each of the kids pick a book, and we will read together. :-)
I’ve wanted to take up running for a long time but I was never really sure how to do it. Today I googled “how to start running for fitness” and I came accross a website that offered a plan to go from “couch potato to 5K runner” in two months.
I am excited about this. With warmer weather coming, I’m eager to can start this plan. I just need to figure out when I can go since I always seem to need a sitter to do ANYthing outside the home.
I should be able to do this before bed. I need to keep my goals in mind so that I can work on accomplishing them.