drannmaria

After not doing anything for months, I finally got back to writing today. I have four pages done of a draft. I think the final article will be around 20 pages, so that is not too bad. Of course, once I have the draft done I will probably end up revising it two or three times. At least there is some progress, though.

This week I read the book, “The Four Agreements”. This relates to another good I have that I haven’t got around to adding yet, which is to reduce the clutter in my house. So, I decided to start this goal with reading books I had bought and not read yet. The Four Agreements are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best.

The book was worth buying and reading for those four thoughts. However, it should have been an essay instead of a book. It could have been 1/4 the length.

The first agreement speaks for itself. The second one did warrant a bit more discussion. In brief, the author says that even if I say, “I hate you”, it reflects on me more than you. If you have always kept your word and always done your best, then if someone hates you because you aren’t the same religion as they are or didn’t promote them to some position for which they weren’t qualified, it’s really their problem not yours and there is no reason to take it personally.

Make no assumptions. This third agreement is the only one I could not agree with wholeheartedly. Although it is a good idea, I don’t really believe the author’s contention that you have the right to ask anyone anything just as they have the right to say yes or no. It is true that often our problems are caused by making assumptions about people and if we just ASKED that often we would find out that the truth is different than we had assumed. You can never read another person’s mind or know what is going on in their home. Maybe Joe didn’t call you back because he was dealing with his teenage daughter who had tried to commit suicide, it had absolutely nothing to do with not valuing your contribution to the company. That goes right back to the second agreement, Don’t Take Anything Personally.

I do think that sometimes you have to assume because it is just not appropriate to ask. Let’s say you are friends with someone and you are attracted to that person who is married to someone else. Do you have the right to ask him or her if your feelings are reciprocated? I would say, “No”. It would make the person feel awkward and probably damage your friendship. You’ve put a friend in an uncomfortable position and I don’t think it is okay. In case you are wondering, no I am not speaking from personal experience here, it was just the first example that jumped to mind. I can think of times when if someone asked me a question my response would be, “None of your business.”

So, my conclusion on this book is that it was really important points and the agreements are worth really thinking deeply about. The book itself, however, was too wordy and not particularly well-written. I’d read it if I was on a cruise and didn’t have anything else to read, or maybe if I liked those new age-y type things – which I don’t particularly.

I give it a B-

I have given one conference presentation and had a second accepted, gotten a new contract for my consulting business that will take all of my spare time for the next two years, and done about everything else on my to-do list but I just cannot find time to finish any articles. This concerns me because I think people find time to do what they want to do. I have three blogs, not counting the 43 things site, and I get paid to write one of them. I have no problem writing web pages at work, lectures.

What is it that keeps me from finishing journal articles? I have done it before so it isn’t that I am afraid I can’t. I know the data we have is unique and important and I am not doing this because I need it to get tenure. So… what is stopping me?

Hmmmm…..