drunkenromantics

I went to Spain this past summer, and every time I think about my wonderful experience, I regret more and more that I didn’t just suck it up and pull loans so I could actually accomplish this goal.

I now have a similar goal in mind, which is to actually look into the possibility of getting a magazine publishing job in England and live there…

I swear to god, seeing that 4.0 ONCE in a transcript filled with low 3.0s is so rewarding. So now, not only does it look like I’ll be graduating on time, but I am that much closer to maybe graduating Cum Laude come May.

I’m a victim to my soulmate being in front of my face all along.

My ex-boyfriend moved to the other side of the country when I was 16. We had kept in touch over the years and at one point even tried the long distance thing. Then all notions of us continuing our adolescent relationship stopped, and we both grew up, I guess. It wasn’t until the last two years or so that we started talking regularly again just to check up on each other’s lives.

He came to visit me last summer, a month after I turned 20. Up until that point, I had not fallen in love with anyone or remotely even came close. But I did with him; I fell in love with the man he had become. He left, we talked about the possibility of getting back together, then both mutually decided that at this point in our lives, it was best to stay just friends.

It broke my heart, and I felt it physically shatter. But I knew it was for the best. I KNOW it is still for the best. He is just about to start med school at UNLV, and I can’t get my career off the ground if I am away from New York City. Also, we both financially cannot afford to just drop everything to be with each other. (I know it’s a really shitty excuse, but we are talking opposite sides of the country after all.)

We still talk regularly, and we both acknowledge that we date other people. I wonder sometimes if it’s unfair to others, or even to myself, to develop a relationship with one person but always feel like you’re meant to be with someone else..