dsimms9

ruining my child — 0 seconds ago

I am a single mom, and in a shared 50/50 custody arrangement with an uncooperative, irresponsible ex. My child is 4 years old, and I have watched her behavior and personality deteriorate since this arrangement was enforced over two years ago. I am reaching the end of my rope as I have very little control over the way my daughter is disciplined. She is spending time in two entirely different environments in which there is no consistency and her father will not cooperate or even speak civilly to me so that we can tackle her behavioral problems together. I am noticing in the last several months that my patience wears thin much more regularly than it used to. Against my own beliefs, I have begun to spank my daughter, and I yell more than I used to or ever wanted to. I feel terrible about it- all the time. But she only obeys me when I yell, and I just don’t have the energy or mental capacity anymore to do the things I used to (distractions, time outs, counting to ten). Nothing works and my relationship with my daughter is getting bad. I am afraid of scarring her for life, and I want this to stop, but I don’t know how or what to do. The worst thing is, I only have her 3 to 5 days a week, depending on which week it is, so strategies I try to instill good behavior are always undone… she has no consistency or stability, and there is nothing I can do about it. I love her so much, and I’m messing up really bad. I have to learn to be a better mother.

I am a single mom, and in a shared 50/50 custody arrangement with an uncooperative, irresponsible ex. My child is 4 years old, and I have watched her behavior and personality deteriorate since this arrangement was enforced over two years ago. I am reaching the end of my rope as I have very little control over the way my daughter is disciplined. She is spending time in two entirely different environments in which there is no consistency and her father will not cooperate or even speak civilly to me so that we can tackle her behavioral problems together. I am noticing in the last several months that my patience wears thin much more regularly than it used to. Against my own beliefs, I have begun to spank my daughter, and I yell more than I used to or ever wanted to. I feel terrible about it- all the time. But she only obeys me when I yell, and I just don’t have the energy or mental capacity anymore to do the things I used to (distractions, time outs, counting to ten). Nothing works and my relationship with my daughter is getting bad. I am afraid of scarring her for life, and I want this to stop, but I don’t know how or what to do. The worst thing is, I only have her 3 to 5 days a week, depending on which week it is, so strategies I try to instill good behavior are always undone… she has no consistency or stability, and there is nothing I can do about it. I love her so much, and I’m messing up really bad. I have to learn to be a better mother.

I just can’t take it anymore. My daughter is all I have left and I may lose her too!!
Here’s the deal. When you are desperate, you will do anything to try and provide for your child. Some time ago, I posted a save me site (cyber begging). It is both embarrassing and a bit degrading to admit to having done this, but I do what I have to. To date, I have not gotten any donations, but several scam artists that are trying to get me to cash a check from Nigeria and mail half the money to someone in California (the 420 scam they call it). I am typically the opposite of a charity case. In fact, I really hate asking my friends and family for help so much I think it pisses them off sometimes. But it has come down to the wire and I may lose my lawyer soon…
I am posting the url to my save me site here so that if any of yall have a buck or two to give to the cause you can via paypal. Thank you very much in advance, if only for your thoughts. Love you all.

http://www.savemesites.com/pages/freepage.php?site=4066