duckchick

I know I obsess on meeting a man. I’ve been creating fantasies in my head about it for years now. Ever since my divorce was (finally!) finalized, the desire to meet someone has hit a peak. The thing is, I don’t really know how to go about doing it without feeling very afraid.

You know how you caqn be introverted and create scenes in your head based on a story or movie you liked? I do that alot, and usually it’s not a problem. But lately I’ve been worried because it isn’t just meeting a special someone that’s suffering, it’s meeting new friends. I’ve lived in this town for over five years now and, except for co-workers, I’ve not made any new friends. My old friends in my hometown miss me and I mss them, but moving was an opportunity. Why haven’t I acted like that, though?

Again, I suspect it’s the fear. I left my ex over seven years ago and we were together for eight years prior to that. I procrastinated on the divorce because I didn’t want to pay for it, and then I just forgot about him and didn’t file. I know that’s sad, but that’s the state our relationship fell into.

Better go. Working!

I’ve wanted one since I was fifteen. I have a particular design in mind these days, but haven’t had the money for it. Is that an excuse? I don’t think so. Maybe with me income tax money…

My little nephews, Eric and Brian, are in town with my sister and brother in law. It’s so great to see them! Eric’s grown so much, and he’ll be three soon. Brian is walking AND talking! I can’t believe how quickly they change even during this time.

They get alot of stares because my family is hispanic, and my nephews were born looking like their dad; blond haired and blue eyed. Hehe, it’s almost hilarious the way people will look at them and smile, then look at us and get puzzled. Look at them…look at us…look at them….look at us…I sometimes want to offer them my cell phone and the number to the FBI. LOL!

They’re beautiful, and I’ve missed them so much. It’s also great to see my sister and especially John. He’s supposed to go to Afghanistan soon, which scares the crap out of me. I’m praying for things to get better…

Here’s to life, and all the joys and trepidations it brings!