dymecoar

I don’t know if I have the patience to take life one day at a time.

I’m constantly coming up with routines to ‘get into’, plans to follow, lists of tasks to do, new habits to start. And none of it ever gets followed through. Pretty much anything that starts with “For one week I will…” or “Just one hour of the day I can…” goes in the trash. I’m a bit scattered and free-spirited. I enjoy the spontaneity of life so much that that gift undermines my stability.

When I was in college, as a music major we were told to practice our instrument one or two hours a day. I couldn’t do that.

When I was in grade school, several classes required that we keep a daily journal. I failed every notebook turn-in because I just couldn’t break myself into a routine of keeping up with the journal.

I’ve started six blogs, and don’t have any real roots in any of them anymore. The reason for all this is that I love starting things. I love the energy you get from beginning a new project. The moment of inspiration, all the wonderful possibilities and ideas for great things, and the first few steps of action towards realizing those possibilities. But I don’t see life as one day at a time. I experience it more like one long neverending stream. So there’s not really a concept of the daily grind. It’s more like a constant stream that is always demanding purpose, justification, or reason for every bend and turn in the road.

That’s why I give in to distractions, and that’s why I don’t think I have patience to live life one day at a time.

But I will not give up trying!

I read all these articles, other posts from you guys, and I’m just awestruck by how simple it seems to be for everyone. Absolutely dumbfounded.

We broke up last night. It just didn’t work out. We had irreconciliable differences that were too much to bridge.

I’m not going to miss the person as much as I will the intimacy with another person that is so important and now so lacking. I feel so alone.

Well last night I was almost making myself sick with worrying about things. It was just because of a few things and people that are confusing for me, and it was starting to feel like those few things were keeping and were GOING to keep me down and away from my goals and dreams. What a bunch of bullcrap. I’m not sure how I realized it before going to bed, but once I did I even went to bad joyously.

Trying to make things better in your life shouldn’t mean you focus on yourself, or on the things that could be better too much! Eventually the more you think about things, the bigger they become. Your brain believes whatever you tell it…