earthed_angel

I could go on about the sense of power it gave me, but that’s not really what it was. I didn’t think I’d like it, but I was excited to give it a go. When I fired that first shot, it was scary…I didn’t expect it to jump like that…but then each shot felt rhythmic and near-effortless. I did it about two and a half years ago – I shot a 9mm government-issue handgun and can’t wait to do it again!! If you have an inkling you’d like to do this, I say go for it. I’m not even a violent person; I didn’t enjoy the thought that this was a weapon that could kill someone. I enjoyed the skill it took to fire accurately, and frankly just the way it felt. Squeezing the trigger, getting harder and harder to squeeze until that sudden release, then the aforementioned jump in the air and then the re-settling into firing position. What a rush!

Well, all goals must be “SMART”, so I figured I’d define “polylingual” for myself. Poly- means “many, several, much”, and that’s a little un-specific and un-measurable, so I’ll define it for myself as four or more non-English languages (English shouldn’t count, I think). I currently know a little French, a little Italian, so it makes sense to flesh those out to be my first two. My husband is from Alaska and is always talking about how beautiful a language Russian is, so that shall be my third. And Arabic shall be my fourth. I would also like to study the differences between American, British, and Australian/New Zealand English, and I’ve met people that distinguished those as separate languages, but I’m not sure I’d be able to.
So then we need a time limit and a way to measure when I’ve achieved it. I think 5 years is a good time limit. That’s one language per year, which sounds pretty ambitious, but I learn languages pretty quickly, and there are programs that can teach you in 6 weeks. I define success in learning a language as being nearly- or native-fluent in it. I’ll have to find some way to test and/or get certification (both to have a way to tell myself and the world that I know this language).

So I know WHY I shouldn’t be afraid to fail. Not everyone can love everything I say or do, so if someone rejects something I say or do, why does that affect me so? No one succeeds at everything they try, so why do I expect to always get A’s and to be a whiz at everything I try? Failure is often the first step to success, so am I really afraid of success, then? Am I afraid that I’ll succeed, and that will only set me up for more failure, for a bigger fall from grace????

Tough questions…I’m working on them.