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be more organized (read all 4 entries…)
PROCRASTINATION ~ what an evil word

PROCRASTINATION is such an evil word ~ like WORK …........
I think that I will take a nap and stop procrastinating!



be more organized (read all 4 entries…)
January 19th, 2007 Organizion is @ HAULT

My organization is @ a HAULT ~ My MS is not allowing me to do too much organizing right now. My goal is still a mission impossible for me right now however my legs will hopefully catch up with my body soon.



Keep a journal (read all 10 entries…)
January 16th, 2007

Well another year has slipped away. Today I am 38 years young. I truly believe that you are only as old as you act. Somedays I do feel older than what I am due to my MS, but today I feel GREAT. I had to renew my license today and I didn’t realize how long it had been since I took my written driving test. Any how I did pass. I have to admit I was a little nervous.



Lose 40 lbs (read all 4 entries…)
Blah Blah BLAH I hate Dieting!

Well said MAXINE My body is a temple where junk food goes to worship! “I HATE DIETING” I perfer to eat! Well bad news for me I totally bombed this goal! almost a month and I have gained weight?????? It seems like the more I try to diet the more weight that I gain. I did well with the water at first and now I am drinking less and less water. Wish me better luck tomorrow and the next….... and so on



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
THE TRUTH OR COULD BE

THE TRUTH OR COULD BE

Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sargeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded .

Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Peter Jennings said, “I am Canadian, so I’d like to hear the song “Canada”one last time.” The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag Musicians
and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take o! ut my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.”

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?” “Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.
“What?” asked the leader? “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?”

“What,” replied the Marine, “and have you three Assholes report that I was the aggressor?

Aint it the truth!



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
Untitled

Minutes after a woman gave birth to her baby her doctor stood solemnly at her bedside and said:”I have something I must tell you about your baby.”

"What's wrong?" the alarmed mother asked.
"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
"What's that?"
"It means your baby has both male and female parts."
"Oh, my goodness, that's wonderful!" the woman exclaimed. " 
You mean it
has a penis and a brain? That doesn't happen often, does it?!"


laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
Southern Belle

Well, the gentleman couldn’t believe his luck. On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina.

When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her
and suggested, “Would you like a cocktail before dinner?”

“Oh, no,” said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, “What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?”

Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn’t say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, “Would you like a smoke?”

“Oh my goodness no,” said the woman. “I couldn’t face my Sunday School class if I did?”

Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He’d been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, “Ahhh … mmmm how would you like to stop at this motel?”

“Sure, that would be nice,” she said in anticipation.
The gentleman couldn’t believe his ears, and did a fast u-turn right then and there, and drove back to the motel and checked in.

The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darling lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, “What the hell have I done? He shook her awake and pleaded, “I’ve got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell our Sunday School class?”

The lady said, “The same thing I always tell them. You don’t have to smoke and drink to have a good time! heeee heeee haw



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
Can you pass the 3rd grade?

Can you pass the 3rd grade?
It’s time for your U.S. Geography Test! You must drag and drop all 48
states in the time allotted to be promoted to the 4th grade.

Click the web page below.. Ready.. Begin!

http://www.pibmug.com/files/map_test.swf
Wow this got me ~ I failed the first time ~ I guess I forgot ~ it has been awhile.Hmmmmm GOOD LUCK



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING @

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING @ ????? HAVEN’T YOU EVER SEEN A CHICK SHIT…..



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
No you can't

No you can’t talk to my BOSS he is on another line.



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
January 11, 2007 ~ Adult Video

Adult Video
A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn’t done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the CD in the DVD player.

To her disappointment, there’s nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

“I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the DVD but static,” she says.

“Sorry about that. We’ve had problems with some of those DVD’s. Which title did you rent?” the clerk replies.

“Head Cleaner,” Mary replies.



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
January 11, 2007 ~ Lottery Win

Lottery Win

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.

The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.”

To which the man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today, and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”

The Redneck said, “Oh, no. I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it.”

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!’‘



be more organized (read all 4 entries…)
January 10th, 2007

Today, I am working on gathering pictures still in the little folder that you get when you get them develope to begin putting them in photo albums. I have already bought some photo albums now the real job is going to be putting them into albums.



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
A new interpretation of a hyms

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said,

I’ll take him
1
and him
2
and him.”
3
share the hymns with someone who needs a smile..



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
Have A Wonderful Day!

An older couple is lying in bed one morning.
They had just awakened from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me.”
“Why not?” he asked. She answered, “Because I’m dead.”
The husband asked…”What are you talking about? We’re both
lying here in bed together and talking to one another!”
She said, “No, I’m definitely dead.”He insisted, “You are not
dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”
“Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.”

...If it weren’t for STRESS I’d have no energy at all.

Whatever hits the fan…Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don’t
have any film.

I always know…God won’t give me more than I can handleThere are times I just wish He didn’t trust me quite so much.

Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff

If the shoe fits… buy a pair in every color.

Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.

Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian.
Not any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Bills travel through the mail…at twice the speed of checks.

If you look like your passport picture…you probably need the
trip.

Some days are a total waste of makeup.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a chocolate in each hand.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the
waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you’ve kept for years
and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Learn from the mistakes of others. Trust me… you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

I’ve tried!!
Have A Wonderful Day!



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
IDIOTS AMONG US

Hmmmm
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “too many deer were being hit
by cars” and he didn’t want them to cross there anymore.
This one was from Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
And he was a Kansas City chef!

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to “downsizing,” our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
“Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open!”
To which he replied, “I know – I already got that side.”
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
They walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE!!!



Lose 40 lbs (read all 4 entries…)
January 9th, 2007

Well I thought that I have bombed my eating healthy for two days now. I had chocolate yesterday & today (my moms homemade fudge) Mmmmm she needs to stop giving me sweets. I LOVE CHOCOLATE !!!!!! but who doesn’t . I guess that I need more water to flush my system of the toxic chocolate monster. LOLGOOD NEWS
For years chocolate has unfairly been blamed for everything from acne to obesity. However, recent scientific research has dispelled these myths and discovered that eating chocolate
in moderation and as part of a balanced diet is actually beneficial for your health. So, no longer do you need to feel guilty eating your favorite chocolate treat… why chocolate can be good for you!

Chocolate does have nutritional value containing a range of nutrients necessary for good health. A 50 gm block of milk chocolate provides: * 0.65 mg zinc (5% recommended dietary intake)

0.75 mg iron (10% RDI for men, 5% for women)
125 mg calcium (15% RDI)
riboflavin (17% RDI)
28mg magnesium (8% RDI)
1.2 mg niacin (6% RDI)
Evidently the nutritional qualities of chocolate make it a snack food worth thinking about.
If you’re looking to increase your calcium intake, consider adding milk chocolate to your diet. Milk chocolate contains up to five times more calcium than dark chocolate because of the milk content. Did you know that white chocolate contains the same amount of calcium as milk chocolate?

Acne
There are numerous long held myths surrounding one of the world’s favorite foods – chocolate. One of the biggest is that eating chocolate makes you fat. WRONG!

The truth is no single food can be called “fattening”. As always, it is the amount consumed that will determine whether it contributes to body fat. It must also be considered that food is only half of the equation; exercise and activity are also crucial to controlling body fat.

Interestingly the United States, which has the highest mean body mass index in the Western world (read: they are the fattest nation!) consumes around half the amount of chocolate as the Swiss. So next time you feel like some chocolate, remember that by itself it won’t make you fat. The Australian Guide to Healthy Eating from the Commonwealth Dept of Health (1998) states that “most people can eat small amounts of extra foods as part of a healthy diet,” indicating that chocolate has it’s place in healthy eating.

The key, of course, is to eat chocolate in moderation and as part of a balanced diet. Oh, and don’t forget to exercise regularly!

Chocolate and Pleasure
Chocolate contains carbohydrates and is ideal as a high-energy food, especially for those participating in outdoors activities such as hiking, cycling and rock climbing. It is often recommended as a high-performance snack for active sportsmen and women. Perfect for those on the go go go.

Chocolate is believed to stimulate the release of endorphins in the body, natural chemicals that block pain and generate feelings of euphoria. Nutritious cocoa used to create chocolate contains calcium, iron, niacin, thiamine, zinc, carbohydrate, vitamin A and riboflavin.

No single food can be called fattening; it is the amount consumed that contributes to body fat. Remember that food is only half the equation; exercise and activity are also crucial to controlling body fat. Enjoy chocolate in moderation as part of a well balanced diet and active lifestyle.

In recent times scientific evidence has been uncovered that proves there is definitely a place for chocolate in our day-to day diet. Importantly, no link between chocolate and coronary heart disease has been found. In fact, some experts feel that chocolate may in some cases help prevent heart disease. We already know that chocolate has no effect on blood cholesterol levels. The antioxidants in chocolate, known as phenols, may exert their effect directly on low density lipoproteins (LDL), a transporter of cholesterol (known as LDL-cholesterol in blood tests). Antioxidants inhibit the damaging oxidation of LDL, which in turn slows down the rate of plaque formation (fatty build-up) in the arteries. The key, of course, is to eat chocolate in moderation and as part of a balanced diet.
Oh, and don’t forget to exercise regularly!

So Eat so chocolate everyday ~ just in moderation.



Keep a journal (read all 10 entries…)
January 9th, 2007

Hello everyone, I think that I have slept approximately 15 hours. I guess that I needed the extra sleep. One of my many symptoms of ms is extreme fatigue, when I get overwhelmed or stressed it is as if my body wants to stop & shut down. I become very weak and achy all over. Ms extreme fatigue is much different than normal fatigue or chronic caused from depression & lack of sleep. Normal fatigue is when you have been without sleep or nutrients or over doing daily task. Extreme fatigue with ms is feeling fatigued and lethargic, and feeling tired all the time.
MUSCLE PAIN OR WEAKNESS, CHEMICAL SENSITIVITIES, POOR CONCENTRATION, MEMORY PROBLEMS, SPACED OUT HEAD, FOOD CRAVINGS, BRAIN FOG, JOINT PAINS NIGHT SWEATS, DIGESTIVE DISORDERS.
Well so far today I slept until about 11 a.m. I got up and continued to try to do things that I use to do with ease, now a lot of daily task are very overwhelming, extreme fatigue is making it difficult for me to fulfill my responsibilities. At home with my family, I am very lucky to have a wonderful spouse that understands and just kicks in does what ever needs to be done without complaint or anger. The disease has certainly has weakened my spirit.



Keep a journal (read all 10 entries…)
January 8th, 2007

January 8, 2007
I am just worn out & tired today. I have been resting a lot today! My appointment went ok, they basically reviewed my other physicians reports and notes and really didn’t have anything new to say. I felt like they were only confirming what we already knew. That I have multiple sclerosis, and that I am to continue my treatment per my neurologist. I feel that I already have the best medical team available here for me at this point in my treatment. I need to just start living my life ~ a not focusing on just my multiple sclerosis.

The Secret

One day, one friend asked another, “How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down.” With her eyes smiling, she said, “I know the Secret!” “What secret is that?” To which she replied, “I’ll tell you all about it, But you have to promise to share the Secret with others.” The Secret is this: I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don’t need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that ‘Secret’, I am happy.” The questioner’s first thought was, “That’s too simple!” But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn’t! She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn’t. When did she realize her greatest happiness? Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God. Now you know it too! We can’t depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust HIM! And now I pass the Secret on to you! So once you get it, what will you do? YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too! That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it’s not really a secret… We just have to believe it and do it… Really trust God! In everything that you do, put GOD firsts & He will direct you & crown your effort with success. Proverbs 3:6



laugh more (read all 22 entries…)
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
Received this from a friend. Feel free to send it on to others if you wish.
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER – by Erma Bombeck
( written after she found out she was dying of cancer)
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my new clothes and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
There would have been more “I love you.” More “I’m sorry.”
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it live it and never give it back.
Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.
Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
Let’s think about what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.



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