einexile

My five steps to drinking more water:

• Quit being a germophobe or otherwise neurotic and start drinking tap water. This means throw out the Brita!

• If your tap water tastes that bad, buy a Brita. Better yet, move to a city with decent tasting water – if not so you’ll drink more water, then to be around healthier people. Being dehydrated all the time makes you sick more often.

• Do yourself a favor and quit being crazy. Put the omg environment thing out of your head forever. Notice how that impulse feels similar to your occasional guilt about eating meat and your general lack of faith in humanity? This is called crazy and you don’t have to subject yourself to it. Please let it kill the people you learned it from, but no reason for you to suffer.

• Experiment with different cups and glasses. The shape of your glass can add or subtract much from your enjoyment of what’s in it. Both the experience and the actual flavor. Make a few trips to the dollar store and experiment.

• Eat more junk food! Salty foods make you thirsty, and you’ll find yourself scarfing the stuff down. Watch your blood pressure and be careful you don’t get fat. Exercise should take care of those things, but if not, bear in mind that chronic dehydration will eventually cause you every illness known to man.

The first thing to do is give the finger to the modern day wisdom propogated by a very few people about what constitutes a legitimate DJ. If you subscribe to this nonsense, your Thing ought to be “I want to be a turntablist,” or “I want my own Global Underground release.” Let’s stand back and look at where the term DJ came from.

The important thing is you want to play music for people!

Like most things worth doing, you can’t look at the ideal as a requirement for doing the thing at all or you’ll clam up. The basics of this are really pretty simple.

There are college and community stations that will let you host a show for the price of a competently written proposal.

If you become a regular at a good bar, you’ll get to know the staff and you’ll learn what nights they don’t have a DJ. They’ll have equipment. They might not have turntables, but the name of this goal is not “I want to spin vinyl.” If you don’t own any CDs, burn some.

My best friend does her entire night on her stupid Mac. I don’t personally approve of this, but I’m just one guy. Meanwhile she’s playing music and people are dancing and her friends are there and it’s the best place to be in the neighborhood on that night.

A bartender on a slow night will be happy to have a DJ during happy hour. Most people where I live seem to start that way.

Teach yourself to beatmatch on their equipment – if you really want to. Beatmatching is not a badge of honor. It is not that difficult, and it’s usually inappropriate, but that’s beside the point. You’ll also be teaching yourself good selection, good flow, reading & interacting with your audience, EQ, promoting yourself, etc.

The important thing is to eject the intimidation and stereotypes spread by ignorant people, and start getting out there and playing music for people. That part isn’t mysterious or magical. It’s not a secret club. It’s as harmless, simple, fun – and yes, frightening – as the first time you put your name up for the pool table.