ela42

I was ticking along just fine, enjoying the odd binge, followed by a week or two of abstinence or even managing for a while to enjoy just the 1 or 2 glasses in an evening and although I was still getting the odd occassion when I was suffering with anxiety, it was mild and not unbearable. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer toward the end of last year. Well of course I tried to use alcohol for escapism at first but found of course that it made the whole thing harder to deal with. So I stopped, I re-evaluated my life and among other things I decided that alcohol has no place in my life anymore. I have 6 months of chemo and radiotherapy ahead of me andd the last thing I need is hangovers on days when I might be feeling better. This will also serve as an excellent reason for not drinking for my fellow drinking buddies who find it so hard to accept when they loose one of the “club members”
Once I have done with all the treatment that should be the end of it. There should be no reason why I cannot carry on living a full and happy life and I intend to make sure I make the most of it! Making every day count, remembering each moment, making full use of my senses, making sure I look after myself so I have my health and energy to do all the things that make me happy and most importantly of all being there 100% for my wonderful, supportive family and freinds.

At last managed to dig deep enough to fight those early stage urges to drink! Now have to stay focussed as the days pass to make sure I don’t forget why I had to stop in the first place.

It’s always the same, after a few weeks have passed I start to reason “well if I can not drink this easiliy how hard can it be to limit the amount” “I’m a grown woman I should have enough self disipline to control it, after all, everyone else seems to be doing O.K” “Does it really matter if I let my hair down, was it so bad, maybe I was just stressing too much about it” “look how much my friends are missing having a good old drink with me, it would be selfish not to, I’m making them feel uncomfortable”

I could go on there are hundreds more. I need to focus on “I can not drink because it WILL lead to more drinking until I feel dreadful, physically and mentally and I look dreadful and I’m right back where I started”

Any tips from any long term abstainers who got through the “doubt” patch, as I like to call that time when you start to doubt whether quitting altogether is the way to go, would be great.

Thanks for all the support getting me through that all important first week :)

P.S. Been having fun making Mocktails to drink while I’m cooking dinner, any recipe suggestions would be great. My fav so far: 1/3 cranberry juice, 1/3 orange juice, 1/3 lemonade with loads of ice and if you put ice and straw in first and pour carefully it’s very pretty too :)

for all the feedback yesterday. I am already taking a herbal remedy that is recommended to cope with periods of irritability, anxiety and stress, I started yesterday as I thought it may help a little. I have also come to the conclusion that I need to plan my evening in a lot more detail during the morning when I am in a “determined not to drink today” frame of mind and do as much preperation as I can to ensure I stick to the plan.
So tonights dinner will be an easy cook then I am meeting up with 2 teetotal girlfriends, my book is next to my made up bed in a tidy bedrooom so I have a nice reason to go straight to bed with a cup of cammomile tea when I get in.
Tomorrow is always a tough one as I don’t get home till late so I am preparing a pasta salad for tea which will be ready to eat as soon as I get in and I will make sure everything is ready for me to have a relxing bath before heading to bed.
I have already made excuses not to attend an event on Friday which would have tested temptation to the limit and now I need to plan something else to do so I’m not sat at home thinking about all the fun my friends are having because that will be a trigger in itself, perhaps I could go to the cinema instead?
In short I need to plan, plan and plan until I’m through this stage then the big task starts – REMEMBERING WHY I STOPPED IN FIRST PLACE! Never made it through that phase yet :(