eliza411

Rereading the last entry on this topic, I feel like it’s awfully abstract. But then, the idea of personal boundaries are somewhat nebulous for me. Rigid boundaries in a culture that doesn’t respect boundaries in the first place is a recipe for alienation and hurt. But where are we when we move boundaries in order to get along.

Take a simple example, one that’s not my own. My friend Michael hates being called Mike. People regularly shorten the name, and he will sometimes correct them but often it makes no difference. Some people say, “It’s just a name. It’s not a big deal.” And to some people, a million variations on their name don’t bother them. But when you name yourself a name, and others refuse to use it, why do they refuse to use it? It’s not the same in every case, for sure. And if you insist on it? Part of the whole social deal is undoubtedly how you insist on it. shrug

This isn’t really clarifying.

Anyway, I’m going to think some more about what I mean and maybe stop focusing on the small and casual boundary violations. I think about the little ones because I suspect there’s some kind of Bay of Pigs syndrome and that if one can hold the easy line and not keep moving it, one might avoid the really traumatic boundary issues. (On the other hand, when I visualize that, I imagine increasing isolation.) Bleh.

Well, the stressful weekend is over, it was completely horrid, and yet I survived on my own reserves with little sleep and no food because I was too stressed to swallow food.

But if I was able to function without any caffeine, then I call it done.

Okay, I will know that I’ve actually given it up if I make it through this weekend. I’m coaching my son’s lego robotics team at the state tournament. He’s stressed, I’m stressed, and that means not much sleep. If I can get through this without coffee, then it’ll like getting through a night of raucous drinking without smoking. I haven’t had any caffeine in a while now, so perhaps Monday I can call it done.

I do have much more energy during the day. It took some major adjustments to the way I eat, though. I no longer eat after 8 p.m., which is allowing me to eat breakfast, which I never could do before. I’m nearly my perky caffeinated self. Woohoo!